A Honest Man’s Take On Handjobs [He Said / She Said]

By    December 7, 2011 5:00 pm     Posted in Dating & Sex, Features, Inline Gallery, Lifestyle   COED Staff g+ page

The handjob is like the Pre-Bolshevik Russia of sex moves; it seems like a good idea at the time, but its execution usually results in pain, suffering, a lot of complaining, and finally upheaval with the people taking matters into their own hands (literally). In this edition of He Said / She Said, we’re taking a look at the bane of adult men everywhere: the handjob.

First, let’s look at some of the reasons you might be getting handie:

Ladies, I can only speak for myself, but I’m pretty sure that I’m a good barometer of what the average guy likes. Here it goes. I’m not one to complain or be picky, but I almost would rather not get a party started if all I’m going to get is a dry, old-fashioned handjob. Are you saying that I should I be happy that you’re even trying to get me off? You’ve already given me blue balls, so why don’t you just save me the chaffed d*ck and let me try to get some sleep?

The action that you’re trying to do to me is something that I do to myself often enough. There’s no way that you’re going to be able to match my skills without a little help, so please don’t try. You know how you hate it when guys get a little too rough with clit? Yeah, I’m sure that the feeling of a dry rubdown and an overeager finger-bang session is pretty much the same thing.

From what I’ve been told by my partners, a finger or two really isn’t going to cut it, so why would you think a hand will work for us? Feel free to sound off below.

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHAT SHE SAID

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    Tags: advice, dating, hand jobs, handjobs, he said she said, masturbation, relationships, Sex, tips

    Comments

    4 Responses to “A Honest Man’s Take On Handjobs [He Said / She Said]”
    1. Jack says:
      December 7, 2011 at 7:29 pm

      i disagree you queer piece of sh*t. id rather have nothing than a handy? f*ck that. id much rather that b*tch jack my sh*t and let me spray all over the place instead of nothing. youre a total f****t.

    2. Molly - UNL says:
      December 7, 2011 at 8:04 pm

      Personally, the only time I give what could constitute as a handy is the 45 second breaks I take while giving head and giving my jaw a second to relax, otherwise it's kind of a pain the ass.

    3. levi says:
      December 22, 2011 at 12:24 pm

      lol jack. you need to be jacked off bro. your a little high strung

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