Ask A Chick: Facial Hair, Hang Out vs. Hook Up, Second Date ‘Raincoat’

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What are your thoughts on facial hair? Do I need to keep it groomed? – Wallace

Attention male readers: Just because you can grow facial hair doesn’t mean you should. However, on the right man there is nothing sexier than scruff. If your facial hair doesn’t grow in wispy, light blond, patches then by all means, grow some stubble! However, no one wants to fuck the Zach Galifianakis doppelganger at the bar, so keep that shit tame. We don’t care if it’s no-shave November; if you don’t keep your hair maintained, neither will we. Get the picture? Good.

Would you think it weird if you learned that I brought out a condom with me on our second date? – Graham

Yes. I would be extremely put off. However, if things start to escalate after dinner and you aren’t prepared that would be bad too. Keep the condom out of sight, be it in your glove compartment, some hidden pocket deep within your jacket, anywhere that she won’t accidentally see it. And equally importantly, when you guys are getting hot and heavy after the date, DO NOT pull out the condom before she makes it 100% clear that she’s DTF. If she says/moans something along the lines of “I wish you had a condom,” use your best acting performance to “double check” that you don’t have one lying around, then act surprised when you miraculously “find” one.

I’m trying to have fun this weekend but also hang out with this girl I haven’t hooked up with yet. If I bring her out with my friends as we get wild and crazy, do I stand any chance of getting any? – Pat

If you just want to hook up with her, yes. The combination of alcohol and the people around you getting wild will pretty much guarantee you’ll be getting some. Especially if she brings her friends along and they’re down to get drunk and crazy too (that’s pretty much your ‘checkmate’ in the game of hooking up). But, if you actually like this girl and want to be suave, charming, debonair, etc. when you finally hook up with her, don’t bring her around you and your wasted buddies. Being sloppy with your friends around the girl you like is the quickest way to hook up with her once then never have her return your calls on the basis that you’re “exactly like every frat boy she ever made the mistake of dating in college.”

Submit your questions to editor@teamcoed.com with the subject line “Ask a Chick”

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