The internet is good for so many things: interesting articles on Gary Busey GIFs and… porn. Yeah, a lot of the internet is taken up by porn but so what? People are into all sorts of stuff – that’s what makes the world so interesting. Take for example, Mr. Hands. Allegedly, there was a man who was a high-ranking official at Boeing. He moonlit as a man who went by the name ‘Mr. Hands.’ Mr. Hands really enjoyed being mounted by horses and posting those videos online. In his most famous and final video, Mr. Hands had his colon pierced by a horse and died. The video is around the internet somewhere, but here are 8 f*cked up internet memes you should check out.
Okay, this isn’t quite as bad as some on the list, but chances are still good you’ll never look at your birthday the same way again, if you’re unlucky enough to have two brothers who find this funny. A cake fart is exactly what it sounds like. To pull one off, you lower your pants and underwear, sit down into a cake, and break wind.
Particularly disturbing are those videos online, which depict people doing so gleefully into a chocolate fudge cake, which gives the impression of a heck of a lot worse than what is actually happening.
No, we’re not talking about the Canadian political party, unfortunately. We’re talking about a depiction of graphic oral sex and making out perpetrated by three old-as-dirt men. Enough to send even the most open-minded person running for a barf bag, the depictions, which appear on the website Lemonparty.org, would be disgusting regardless of sexual preference.
Some things are simply better left behind closed doors, people. Don’t believe us? Go ahead, visit the site. We dare you. On a related note, a lemonparty is now used to describe any sexual activity involving three or more men aged 69 or older.
Goatse.cx was an Internet shock site which launched in 1999. It was shut down in 2004, but has since been picked back up by an unknown owner. The images from Goatse.cx were used to shock friends or get revenge on people with weak stomachs. The most popular of the pornographic images used involved a man spreading his derriere with both hands, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. Some people said they saw Jesus. I saw where this dude’s soul used to be. Thank God the Rickroll came along because this thing was way more disturbing.
2 Girls / 1 Cup
It doesn’t get much sicker than this. Well, that’s not exactly true. See, “2 Girls, 1 Cup” is the unofficial trailer of a graphic Brazilian film entitled, “Hungry Bitches”. The trailer depicts a nasty little appetite shared between two young ladies and their bowels. MFX Media were the sickos responsible for this content. YouTube did the rest.
To this day, it’s easier to find reaction videos on the popular website than it is to track down the 2007 footage itself. Still not that hard, though. Also popular are parody videos, the most famous of which featured John Mayer and Sherrod Small mimicking the ladies with Pinkberry frozen yogurt instead of poop.
Shake That Bear
First premiering on eFukt.com circa 2007, “Shake That Bear” is a video of a couple killing a bear and then having sex on top of it. For us, it doesn’t get much more disturbing than this. To start with, any depiction of sex and death close together is just way too close to necrophilia. Then, there is the bonus of sex between humans and animals that threatens to cross over into bestiality. In much the same way as “2 Girls, 1 Cup,” this video has spawned hundreds of reaction videos that are just as popular.
The word “anal” by itself can cause one to gag or cringe. Sure, the adult film stars make it look easy, but your girlfriend thought otherwise. There’s something about, that shouldn’t go there that keeps popping up in your head. One way only. Exit only. Now, take a look at a hermaphrodite or a tranny. Again, worlds collide. Your sense of logic is thrown off. What about male genitalia? It can only do so much, it can only move in certain ways, right? Take all three of those, place them in one f’d up flash file and you’ve got meatspin. The site features a counter that tells you how many spins (of the “meat”) you’ve made it through. Once it reaches 48 spins “YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY GAY :-)” will be displayed.
I’m sure we’ve all had one of those days where a shower just won’t do. You’re tired, you don’t feel like standing. You just want to soak, relax, and feel the warm surrounding embrace of calm, quiet, soothing water. Hell, in our heyday, some of us would try some interesting maneuvers when laying down and feeling a bit randy. Ever see Saving Silverman? Well, this chick took it a step further, shooting her processed Taco Bell into her own piehole. Skilled? Yes. Responsible? Yes. I mean, she knew well enough to keep it in a contained area. Someone get this chick on eHarmony.com STAT.
Hopefully, you’ve seen that episode of South Park where Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric form a boy band and rise to the top of the charts with their hit single, “Fingerbang.” They thought it meant to hold your fingers in a way that it makes it look like a gun and pretend to shoot a girl. You know, like Shooter McGavin in Happy Gilmore. Most of us in the know… know… that it has a very sexual connotation. When a man diddles a woman’s fiddle. But, did you know a man, could do that to another man? Now, take it up a million notches. The words “MONSTER CATHETER” come to mind.