With all the offseason scandal and controversy that went down this year, it’s safe to say everyone and their den mother is dying to get the the college football season started. Come Thursday, September 1st, all the illegal booster and agent gifts, prostitutes, yacht rides, and abortions will be momentarily forgotten and we can get back to the glory of the game. One of the teams missing from this preseason top 25 rankings is Texas. While expectations might be low, we’d like to give them some motivation that’s A) completely legal and B) won’t injure them. Needless to say, we wouldn’t mind hookin’ the thong-horns in the gallery below.