Menage a Trois Manners: The Etiquette Guide To Threesomes

By Edit Posted in Culture

 

It’s the ‘end of the rainbow’ moment for many a happy hunting pick up artist. The moment where their skills are so hot, the moment is so perfect and the girls so wild that a three-way jumps onto the cards. Whether you’ve done a Jedi mind trick on your girlfriend to make her comply, or just happened to find two BFFs looking to make you the luckiest man alive; you need to know the rules of play to prevent your three-way f*ck fest from turning into a f*ck-up. Check out my tips below.

Be Honest

As part of a couple bringing in an ‘external contractor’ both of you need to be totally comfortable with what you’re doing before you’re already tangled up. In fact I’d advise that you’d want your girlfriend to be more than just comfortable with a threesome before trying it; in fact we’d like her to be enthusiastic about it. In each of the threesomes I’ve had, I’ve lead from the front – I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Just ‘going along with it’ to keep your partner happy is the worst: it equates to bad sex in the moment and tons of issues to follow.

So before you add a plus one, I’d advise getting right down to the nitty, gritty, and quite frankly rude, details of what you both feel comfortable with. Maybe as a woman you’re ok to invite another lady into the bedroom, but don’t want your guy to have full penetrative sex with her? Maybe you’re a guy that gets off on the thought of his lady having some lesbian action: but wants to be a fully participatory member of the party? Either way these are discussions that you need to have, long before your clothes start flying off!

Be Inclusive

Starting out with great intentions is one thing, but the second need for uber-honesty comes when you meet your plus one. Threesomes involve a lot of foreplay as it’s important that everyone feels involved (unless being discluded suits your masochistic tastes, in which case fair enough!) However, everything about the run up to the threesome, whether it be a spur of the moment club thing, or a pre-arranged swinging thing, should include your partner absolutely. I’d advise letting the less keen partner take the lead in their choice of third-party, and checking out some three-way porn to know which positions turn you on, and which will make you feel left out.

Find Out What Your Playmate Wants

If all this honesty was making you woozy it’s time to be prepared for some more. On top of figuring out what you and your partner want: you also need to check that your frisky third-party is also after the same things. Some people will want no strings, others may fancy a more long term arrangement. I’ve even known one guy to take a girl’s virginity, whilst her best friend held her hand, then go on to a regular relationship with them both. Stranger things have happened. Either way, get this squared before you hook-up. The last thing you want is to have an amazing night marred by a little confusion as to when to call their cab afterwards.

Protect Your Boundaries

Keeping some space between your normal life and your extra-curricular activities is key. Believe me I’ve tried blending both and it becomes complicated: fast. This may mean using a PAYG mobile/ different email account to contact your extras, or it could mean meeting them at a hotel, instead of your home, if you’re a couple. Even if you’re a lone guy, looking to score a hat trick, make sure that the girls know it’s a ‘one night thing’; and that the people who you really respect (employers, parents, even friends) don’t find out at all. Unless you’re a bona fide PUA, in which case bragging is just fine, then unfortunately others will often not think kindly of your sexual experimentation. So be careful who you talk to: and try not to hook up with anyone at the office party or anything gossip-worthy like that.

It’s Okay To Hit the Panic Button

You know best when a boundary has been crossed when you:

  1. Feel queasy and confused
  2. Feel uncertain that they should be putting that there
  3. Jump out of the window

If you want to have fun, and three ways, then you should be able to call it quits if they’re unhappy. Even if you’re in the hotel room, and things are getting hot, you and your partner should always have a code word that means ‘eject’ if that’s what it takes to keep you together.

Similarly if it’s your first time in bed with two hot babes it’s ok for things to feel uncertain, awkward, or even not go the whole way. Lots of the times you need to know you’ve got the skills to do something, then physically go there, and then perfect your technique. So don’t sweat it if things aren’t perfect: chalk it up to experience and know better next time.

For more tips on threesomes, and how to get them in the first place, check out www.puatraining.com

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