Everyone’s had a friend with benefits (“FWB”); it starts off being the greatest “relationship” ever, because it’s not supposed to be a relationship. I think you’re hot, you think I’m hot, let’s bone. That’s it. The mantra’s always been: keep it casual. So, then why are giving you ‘rules’? Because some people just don’t get the FWB dynamic. So, with the Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis anti-romcom Friends With Benefits coming out soon, we thought we’d help those in search of sex sans strings. Check out our rules of engagement below.
FWB RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
- #1: Both parties must be honest about their intentions from the start. Failure to stay true to their word is grounds for dismissal.
- #2: Both parties must back up their honest words with actions that are in line with the initial agreement. Any actions suggesting otherwise will lead to breach of oral contract.
- #3: If one party gets attached, it is his or her responsibility to say so. Silence will be interpreted as compliance.
- #4: Both parties must keep texting to a minimum, each text exchange can be flirtatious but must remain devoid of romanticism or “flowery” language.
- #5: Daily encounters or meetings are strictly forbidden. Weekly hang outs in group settings are suggested.
- #6: Do not cook meals for her, give her massages, or do anything else a boyfriend would do
- #7: No planning. Any plans made must be in the moment and address the next hour. Any plans proposed beyond that time-frame will be interpreted as ‘a date’ thus nullifying FWB status.
- #8: No formal introductions to family. Accidental encounters will require improvisation during which you refer to each other as co-workers and end with the party whose family isn’t present to excuse him or herself to meet up with their significant other. No touching during this encounter.
- #9: If one party to fall ill, the other party will keep distance and check in remotely once standard time of infection has passed.
- #10: Maintain the impression that each party is seeing, dating, and hooking up with other parties even if that’s not the case. If another party is present and wants to hook up with your fellow FWB, support it or bow out and find another hook up for that night.
- #11: Do not cuddle or spoon. Once finished claiming benefits, roll over and fall asleep without touching fellow FWB.
Keep these rules in mind and you should be in the clear. Of course, you shouldn’t be over-thinking this. If you are, you need to bail.