When the real zombie apocalypse arrives, only a total dumbass will look to zombie movies for tips on how to survive. Because while those people will be busy doing stuff people in zombie movies do, like giving birth and being totally racist, the people who look to video games for survival tips will be off creating a zombie-free society on an island somewhere. Here are 5 tips for surviving the zombie apocalypse that we learned from video games.
Learn to run and shoot. Nobody cares if you run like a girl and can barely hit the target. When the zombies run at you, run away and shoot back as you do so. When the characters from the Resident Evil games want to shoot, they have to stop, plant their feet, take aim and fire. This isn’t Olympic target shooting. The time for gun safety is gone. Run and shoot!
Left 4 Dead 1 & 2
Work together. In the Left 4 Dead games, you have to work together to survive, no matter what. Even if you’re stuck with nothing but a bunch of random maniacs – in the game or in the real apocalypse — when the zombies start attacking, you have to work with whoever else is around, no matter what. There’s plenty of time later for learning to get along. For now, it’s you and whoever’s nearby when the outbreak happens. Which means day shift strippers, most likely.
Plants Vs Zombies
Fill your lawn with man-eating plants. It works in Plants vs. Zombies and it’ll probably work in real life. Also, your home is your castle, literally in the case of a zombie apocalypse. The guy in Plants vs. Zombies lived forever because he never left his house, where he grew his own food and weapons. This means you should learn to homebrew.
Call of Duty
Bring professional zombie killers, like the heroes from Call of the Dead. But if Buffy isn’t around, another thing to take away from Call of Duty is to prepare early on for the inevitable massive waves of zombies. What at first seems like one or two undead dudes can quickly grow into massive hordes before you’ve even had a chance to board the windows. That’s zombies for ya – always showing up uninvited, and bringing all their buddies.
Dead Rising 2
Think outside the box. In Dead Rising 2, Chuck Greene is duct taping knives to lawn mowers, dynamite to pieces of meat, and anything to anything else he can find. When the real zombie apocalypse happens, don’t be afraid to get creative with your zombie killing. In fact, why wait until the zombie apocalypse – get a flashlight, some diamonds and make yourself a light saber today!
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