Elder fraternity members are always scouting the next available crop of pledges, seeking to rebuild and refresh their organization with the top recruits on campus. What if instead of a wide-eyed teenager, wandering in circles looking for his freshmen orientation that ended 30 minutes ago, you could pick from a stable of noble superheroes, mysterious villains, and cartoony pranksters? We’re talking about creating an entire frat out of iconic video game characters, building the wildest pack of party animals ever assembled! Read on to see COED’s list of six video game characters to have in your frat!
The Pres: Mario
The most famous digital Italian in video game history is one of our first pledges to join the new class, and it’s not because of his wicked ‘stache. Having someone who knows their way around the kitchen can’t hurt his chances, especially when the crew needs a carbo-loaded meal before an all-night stint at the bar. Plus, his well-known plumbing skills would certainly come in handy the next time someone clogs the toilet or breaks the handle off the kitchen faucet in a drunken stupor.
House DJs / Social Co-Chairs: Toejam and Earl
These goofy, prank-pulling, legit party animals will come right out of the television screen and into the frat house with ease, bringing a wit and spirit which is sure to lighten the mood no matter what the scenario is. With a laid-back alien attitude and superior rapping skills, the pair will be freestyling their way through competitions and fundraisers as they bring the party back to your place for some otherworldly keg stands and beer pong.
House Warden / Security: Zangief
The chiseled, burly Ruskie hailing from the Street Fighter series is your enforcer in the frat, towering over everyone else in the room by at least half of a foot. With his wrestling skills, you’ll be set for chucking out any unwanted guests at parties, and you can forget about anyone trying to steal the letters off the front of the frat house. Plus, nothing strikes fear into fresh pledges like a seven-foot-tall shirtless Russian wrestler with a mohawk.
Vice Pres: Fox McCloud
Not only is this swift, brainy character a world-class pilot, but he owns his own space fighter! Saying his sleek, lightning-fast Arwing is just a smidge cooler than your mom’s old Ford Taurus station wagon is probably the understatement of the year. And if you guys aren’t picking up sorority girls and jetting off to the nearest tropical island within an hour of his arrival, we don’t know what else to say.
Pledge Educator: Pac-Man
Every fraternity needs a literal human (well, maybe not human in this case) garbage disposal, right? Surviving by devouring everything in sight, Pac-Man would be the MVP of your drinking team, slaying opponents in case races, flip cup and “Kill the Keg” competitions. The only problem might be keeping this guy fed, but fortunately Mario will be on hand to serve up a few trays of lasagna to ensure he’s not going hungry.
With all the superheroes, drunkards and wild behavior around, you’ll need at least one guy to be a little more on the quiet, polite, and cute side of things. Let’s also not forget his ability to fly, inhale and consume nearly anything – making him a great one-two knockout punch to backup Pac-Man during the next frat house beer olympics.
Rush Chair: Conker the Squirrel
Notorious for his crude and controversial behavior, the not-so-cuddly cartoon squirrel will be far more comfortable in the frat house than he will with the rest of the cute woodland critters. Known for his propensity to blow money on booze, parties and hookers, Conker will keep the night going even after many of your friends have already passed out with a Sharpie mustache on their face, courtesy of the fraternity’s newest member.
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