10 Awful Foods That Taste Awesome High

By Edit Posted in Booze + Food, College, Culture, Entertainment, News-ish, Smoking

While consuming truckloads of food to fill our empty stomachs is something most Americans do on a regular basis, doing this while high is an adventure all its own. Have you ever tasted the delicious Chocolate Lava Crunch Cakes from Domino’s? What about French Fries from Arby’s? Sure, all these foods would make a nutritionist commit suicide, but when you are high, who cares about counting calories? It’s all about how incredible the food tastes after taking in that sweet Mary Jane! Sink your teeth into COED’s list of the 10 foods that are awful for you, but awesome to eat while high!

1) Yoo-Hoo

Before you begin your expedition into stoner food, you’re going to need something to wash it all down with, and Yoo-Hoo chocolate drink is perfection liquefied. If you had any doubts as to what drink to purchase at the gas station during those “munchie moments,” look no further.

2) Taco Bell

Anything from the Taco Bell menu would easily satisfy your hunger. Nothing quite beats this pseudo-Mexican dining experience, and it never hurts to do a little intestinal “spring cleaning” if you know what I mean. Is it just me or do you hear Queen’s “We Are The Champions ” when you pull up in the drive-thru and see that ever so glorious menu board?

3) Popeyes Chicken

If you weren’t already drooling over the selection from my list, you’re probably contemplating a quick run to the closest fast food chain right about now. Popeyes chicken has a great taste to begin with, but the addition of pot into the equation just makes your taste buds do backflips. All in all, it tastes like heaven on Earth.

4) Little Caesars Pizza And Crazy Bread

Pizza is something I would rate as the quintessential stoner food, but if I had to choose a particular brand of pizza , Little Caesars brings home the gold each and every time. The Crazy Bread alone is worth the trip and where else can you get eight of the best bread sticks, a large pizza bigger than your truck and a giant cup of marinara sauce to dip everything in?

5) Arby’s Curly Fries

Curly fries are a majestic triumph on their own; I’m still amazed when I bite into one of these little bastards. How do they make the fries curl? Why do some come out epic and others straight like a normal fry? It’s questions like these that earn Arby’s curly fries a place on this list. How long would it take you to eat something with so much character, especially if you were high? It’s almost as if each fry tells its own story and you must find the answers.

6) Cereal

I was going to name some names here but I figured all cereal would easily qualify to be great stoner grub. There are a few top contenders, but for the most part, cereal in general is good enough to satisfy any munchie cravings. You could even mix them up for a wonderful explosion of flavor that has to be tasted to be believed.

7) Chocolate Lava Crunch Cake (Domino’s Pizza)

Let’s take a moment to analyze what we have in front of us. The design for something like this can only happen by accident and, as legend has it, that’s exactly the case. So thanks to an unknown chef’s culinary ineptitude, millions of stoners are smiling in their homes tonight as they contemplate which end to eat first.  I say be a man and just take a great big bite straight through the heart of it like a lion tearing into a zebra.

8) Bagel Bites

Bagel Bites have been around for many years now and even since 1985, Bagel Bites have become a college student’s best friend in more ways then one. Not only does this tasty hors d’oeuvre give you the pleasure of eating pizza in one big bite, it also makes you feel like a giant amongst men. Now try eating something with that much power while being high. It is truly amazing, my friends, truly.

9) McGriddle

Quick, someone give me the word for the perfect breakfast food combination in history. Go ahead, think about it before you speak. Got it? Your answer should include pancakes, syrup, eggs, bacon, sausage, cheese and hashbrowns. That would also be known as a McGriddle!

10) Brownies

No, not “special” brownies people! Just some regular good ol’ fashioned homemade brownies – sans “walnuts.” Brownies are the ultimate in stoner foods and everything else you might eat doesn’t even compare. As simple as they are, there’s magic to these chocolately morsels that make any – if not all – potheads froth from the mouth!

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