It is said that owning a pet leads to a longer and happier life. Not only can they provide you with hours of entertainment, but if you happen to own a cute and cuddly puppy or kitten, your chances of getting laid pretty much skyrocket. With that having been said, the types of pets people choose to own often reflects that individual’s own personality. If you want to find out if your next potential hookup is a complete psycho or a totally rad chick, then take a moment to find out what kinds of pets she might own and how she interacts with them.
When it comes to women, cats are usually the pet of choice. They’re adorable, small and can be pushed around in baby carriages, as well as being extremely independent and opinionated. And if they’re pissed at you, they’ll let you know it by crapping all over your bed. So if your lady owns a cat, there’s no need to go running for the hills – owning one or two cats reflects her own independence.
You know your gal has no problem leaving her apartment for the night and spending it with you. Cats are very self-sufficient animals and all they really need are full bowls of food and water, and a clean litter box. Be sure, however, to avoid the broads who own three or more cats. If you smell cat piss on her clothes or can’t fit on the bed because of all the reclining felines, find the nearest exit immediately.
If your idea of the perfect girl is sporty and low maintenance, then try finding a woman who owns a dog. Dog owners are usually super energetic and love taking their canines to the park to toss around a football or frisbee. Dogs themselves are extremely dedicated animals, they’ll love you regardless if you pat them on the head or throw them off the roof. This means that your gal will probably be as committed to you as her pooch is to her. This doesn’t mean she’ll be a doormat, however. She’ll still have a feisty side if you happen to rub her the wrong way (both figuratively and literally).
Women who own reptiles tend to be self-involved and egotistical. Snakes, lizards and turtles don’t need as much personal interaction as mammals do. If you want a girl who’s a bit on the freaky side, then a reptile owner might be perfect for you. They’re usually attracted to the exotic and taboo – and that’s a perfect combination when it comes to the bedroom.
Girls who dig feathered friends tend to be talkative and bubbly. You need to have an extroverted personality when it comes to owning an animal that holds one-sided conversations with itself. If you like your ladies overflowing with optimism and some good ol’ joie de vivre, seek out a chick who owns a bird.
She must really love Bugs Bunny cartoons and Easter. They also really f***ing stink. These cute creatures bone like crazy and sh*t everywhere. You are what you own, right? If that’s the case, avoid anal and wear a condom, ‘cuz she’s prob pooping out octuplets. Now, if she works on a bunny ranch, she knows exactly what she’s doing, but it’ll cost ya.
When it comes to rodents, women who own these nasty creatures have them for one of two reasons: they’re either feeding them to their snakes or they’re hoarders. Mice, hamsters and gerbils are cheap animals to take care of and reproduce faster than a family of Irish Catholics in a blackout. If your lady owns rodents, be prepared for some clutter and stink.
Girls who own frogs, toads or newts like to smoke a lot of pot and probably go by the name of “Moon Unit.” That is all the information you need to know about them.
A woman who owns a horse is probably extremely wealthy or just works her butt off to afford all the bills that come with owning one. There is that old myth that girls who ride horses are better in the bedroom because of their strong thigh muscles. This may not be entirely true, but there’s only one way to find out. Cowgirl up!
A woman who owns an insect for a pet isn’t exactly common, but there are some that appreciate bugs. These girls dig weird science and other oddities, and they certainly don’t have any qualms over the idea of getting down and dirty. If you want an offbeat babe that’s both smart and sexy, find one who owns a tank full of insects in her apartment. Roaches running around her place doesn’t count and you should probably just leave.
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