2011 Comprehensive Spring Break Bikini Guide
When you think of a bikini, you might not realize that dozens of different styles exist. Most dudes think, “Oh yeah, I can see her midsection, sweet”. It’s to be expected when you go to most public beaches or pools – same ol’ traditional, conventional two piece bathing suit. Now, if you go to Lake Havasu, Las Vegas pool parties, or the more exotic locales for Spring Break, well, you’ve probably laid eyes on the beautifully crafted swimwear we’re about to show you. If you haven’t claimed witness to such spectacles and forgot to book your trip to Cancun, prepare to have your mind blown.
The Classic Bikini
Everyone knows the common bikini – it consists of a non-tying, non-clipping, simple slip-on bottom and a bra-like top. And while it might be one of the least revealing bikinis out there, it’s sometimes better to keep some things a secret. (Totally kidding.
The String Bikini
More revealing than the common bikini, the string bikini has two triangles of fabric, one in the back, one in the front, and attaches with strings on the side, which makes for easy removal – always a good trait for an article of women’s clothing to have.
The Thong Bikini
The thong bikini is a two-piece suit, with a standard top and a thong bottom, which has a triangle of fabric in the front and a piece of fabric that goes between the cheeks, sometimes with a triangle at the top, sometimes just a string. You know, a thong, th-thong, thong thong!
The Boy Short Bikini
One of our favorites, the boy short bikini combines the awesomeness of boy shorts with the awesomeness of bikinis to make possibly the greatest article of clothing known to man. If women could just start wearing this outfit all the time, we would never be sad.
The Sling Bikini
Made famous by Sacha Baron Cohen in his movie Borat, this classy number, sometimes called a “suspender bikini” or “slingshot bikini,” is a one-piece suit that extends from the crotch, over the shoulders and connects in the back.
A popular 80′s variation of the sling bikini, the pretzelikini has two sets of straps, one that wraps around the neck with a criss-cross and another that wraps around the midriff. Also, it tastes excellent with mustard.
A microkini is often a string bikini that has as little fabric covering the naughty bits as possible. Why all bikinis aren’t like this, we have no idea. But they should be.
Designed in 1985 by Rudi Gernreich, the pubikini is meant to expose the pubic hair. So basically, it’s a bikini that can cover anything but the crotch, which is kinda cool in a “check out my junk” kind of way. But for obviously legal reasons, we don’t expect to see this one strolling down the boardwalk anytime soon.
The Clip Bikini
While the cut of the clip bikini can come in many different variations, the one defining factor is that the clip bikini attach with a clip instead of with a string or full fabric. Complicated, we know…
Despite the fact that it covers more skin, the tankini is a sexy combination of a bikini bottom with any tank top – though most of them are made of spandex-and-cotton or Lycra-and-nylon and have thin spaghetti straps.
Often times, the trikini is only made up of a bikini bottom and pretty much any other two pieces used to cover the breasts. (Most often, pasties are used.) Another version of the trikini is a kind of bikini-one-piece hybrid, with a thin piece of form-fitting fabric attaching the top and bottoms in the front.
It’s like a normal bikini, but totally transparent. Why someone would wear this instead of just going full nude is beyond us. But we’re guessing it has to do with keeping the sand out (or just to toy with you).
(click thumb to view full image)
Rather than a simple bra-like top, the bandeaukini has a tube-top, which wraps around the body, covering the breasts. Sometimes, a simple bandanna or belt is used. But that only happens in our wildest dreams…
Popular on European beaches and with overweight, middle-aged dudes with leathery skin, the monokini is the term for wearing just the bottom part of a bikini – a practice we highly recommend.
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