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2011 Comprehensive Spring Break Bikini Guide

When you think of a bikini, you might not realize that dozens of different styles exist. Most dudes think, “Oh yeah, I can see her midsection, sweet”. It’s to be expected when you go to most public beaches or pools – same ol’ traditional, conventional two piece bathing suit. Now, if you go to Lake Havasu, Las Vegas pool parties, or the more exotic locales for Spring Break, well, you’ve probably laid eyes on the beautifully crafted swimwear we’re about to show you. If you haven’t claimed witness to such spectacles and forgot to book your trip to Cancun, prepare to have your mind blown.

The Classic Bikini

Everyone knows the common bikini – it consists of a non-tying, non-clipping, simple slip-on bottom and a bra-like top. And while it might be one of the least revealing bikinis out there, it’s sometimes better to keep some things a secret. (Totally kidding.

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    The String Bikini

    More revealing than the common bikini, the string bikini has two triangles of fabric, one in the back, one in the front, and attaches with strings on the side, which makes for easy removal – always a good trait for an article of women’s clothing to have.

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      The Thong Bikini

      The thong bikini is a two-piece suit, with a standard top and a thong bottom, which has a triangle of fabric in the front and a piece of fabric that goes between the cheeks, sometimes with a triangle at the top, sometimes just a string. You know, a thong, th-thong, thong thong!

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        The Boy Short Bikini

        One of our favorites, the boy short bikini combines the awesomeness of boy shorts with the awesomeness of bikinis to make possibly the greatest article of clothing known to man. If women could just start wearing this outfit all the time, we would never be sad.

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          The Sling Bikini

          Made famous by Sacha Baron Cohen in his movie Borat, this classy number, sometimes called a “suspender bikini” or “slingshot bikini,” is a one-piece suit that extends from the crotch, over the shoulders and connects in the back.

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            The Pretzelkini

            A popular 80’s variation of the sling bikini, the pretzelikini has two sets of straps, one that wraps around the neck with a criss-cross and another that wraps around the midriff. Also, it tastes excellent with mustard.
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              The Microkini

              A microkini is often a string bikini that has as little fabric covering the naughty bits as possible. Why all bikinis aren’t like this, we have no idea. But they should be.
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                The Pubikini

                Designed in 1985 by Rudi Gernreich, the pubikini is meant to expose the pubic hair. So basically, it’s a bikini that can cover anything but the crotch, which is kinda cool in a “check out my junk” kind of way. But for obviously legal reasons, we don’t expect to see this one strolling down the boardwalk anytime soon.
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                  The Clip Bikini

                  While the cut of the clip bikini can come in many different variations, the one defining factor is that the clip bikini attach with a clip instead of with a string or full fabric. Complicated, we know…
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                    The Tankini

                    Despite the fact that it covers more skin, the tankini is a sexy combination of a bikini bottom with any tank top – though most of them are made of spandex-and-cotton or Lycra-and-nylon and have thin spaghetti straps.
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                      The Trikini

                      Often times, the trikini is only made up of a bikini bottom and pretty much any other two pieces used to cover the breasts. (Most often, pasties are used.) Another version of the trikini is a kind of bikini-one-piece hybrid, with a thin piece of form-fitting fabric attaching the top and bottoms in the front.
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                        The Seekini

                        It’s like a normal bikini, but totally transparent. Why someone would wear this instead of just going full nude is beyond us. But we’re guessing it has to do with keeping the sand out (or just to toy with you).

                        (click thumb to view full image)

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                          The Bandeaukini

                          Rather than a simple bra-like top, the bandeaukini has a tube-top, which wraps around the body, covering the breasts. Sometimes, a simple bandanna or belt is used. But that only happens in our wildest dreams…
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                            The Monokini

                            Popular on European beaches and with overweight, middle-aged dudes with leathery skin, the monokini is the term for wearing just the bottom part of a bikini – a practice we highly recommend.

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                                Comments

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                                9. […] Spring Break coming to a close in the next week or so, we’ve managed to cover just about all the Spring […]

                                10. […] the beach. But, I’ll be damned if I see ONE microkini. For those NOT in the know, check out our comprehensive guide to swimsuits. If you don’t live in SoCal or near Lake Havasu, you might consider moving there after seeing […]

                                11. […] the beach. But, I’ll be damned if I see ONE microkini. For those NOT in the know, check out our comprehensive guide to swimsuits. If you don’t live in SoCal or near Lake Havasu, you might consider moving there after seeing […]

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                                13. […] most popular swimsuit of choice for women the world over. However, as you may have learned from our comprehensive bikini guide, the bikini comes in many shapes and sizes. Probably the most eye-popping, physics-defying (and […]

                                14. lime says:

                                  Wow those are some really hot looking bikinis

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