He Said / She Said: “Dormcest” (Hooking Up With Roommates/Neighbors)
He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help dudes understand what chicks are thinking. Every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…you can read the guy’s side here and the girl’s side at CollegeCandy.com. This week’s topic: hooking up with a roommate, suitemate, or neighbor.
If you’re in college, odds are you probably won’t hook up with your roommate, unless you swing that way. But, at some point, we’ve all encountered a hook up that was a little too close to home. Maybe she lives next door, maybe she lives down the hall, maybe she’s in the same building. Truth is, if she’s within a minute’s walking distance, it changes the entire dynamic of your relationship. It’s unavoidable.
Take a look at the absolute pandemonium that breaks out on reality shows like The Real World, Big Brother, and Jersey Shore when roommates hook up. Ronnie and Sammi nearly murdered each other when they broke up. Ronnie threw her wardrobe and her bed out on the back patio. For one reason or another, the rules change when you live with or next to your hook up. There are different expectations. Unless, you’ve both been in that situation before or you’ve reached an understanding, the relationship accelerates. Even when you have set parameters, more times than not, one of you will break.
I had two female roommates in my old apartment. One was a vegetarian who kept to herself, didn’t really hang out or party. Very nice girl, but we didn’t have anything in common. The other girl is still a great friend of mine. But, man, was the pre-hook up mood / air TENSE. Screw a butter knife, you’d need a machete to cut through the sexual tension. There was doubt, there was confusion, and there were numerous missed opportunities.
Your thought process becomes clouded: What if we really hit it off? We’re living together – there’s no separation, no distance, virtually no privacy. What if it’s awful? It’ll be awkward seeing her every day. What if we get together and then have a horrendous break up? I really like this place, I don’t want to move. Then, you both get hammered drunk and end up swapping spit along with other bodily fluids.
As much as we’d all like to discuss our feelings and work through our emotions, maybe go out on a date to see if there’s chemistry and really get to know each other before we make any rash decisions, sometimes our libidos boot our logic out the driver’s side and take the wheel.
Luckily for me, the girl roommate I hooked up with is beyond cool. Yeah, there was a bump or two, but we’re worked it out amicably. Others are not as fortunate. I’m not one to put the kibosh on a potential fling, but it’s a risky proposition. Of course, hooking up with a roommate is riskier than with a neighbor. While it may be convenient, it can get super inconvenient when she’s outside your place at 3am hysterically crying and banging on your door.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for hooking up with roommates & neighbors. You just can’t beat that convenience. It’s a level of no strings attached / friends with benefits sex that is unmatched, unparalleled, and uncontested. That is, until she gets preggo, finds a real boyfriend, or asks the dreaded, “So, what ARE we exactly?” I say ride the wave for as long as you can. When sh*t turns sour, just remember the good times. Seemed to work in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Liked this? Check out these:
He Said / She Said: Swiping The V-Card
He Said / She Said: Her Number Doesn’t Really Matter
He Said / She Said: Sex…During Her Period
He Said / She Said: Sex On The First Date
He Said / She Said: Returning “The Favor”