5 Things You Didn’t Know About The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre

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Candy, cards, jewelry… all the material goods (and cash you’ll be dropping)  for this very special – commercial holiday!  Hell, maybe you’re stuck alone… again this year… cringing at all the lovebirds you’ll see out and about.  Either way, you have it good compared to what seven residents of the Windy City had to endure in 1929.  In response to all the lovey-dovey overkill levied upon you all on this February 14th, COED gives you a special Valentine – a horrific heart-day list.  So, go amaze your equally lonely friends, or simply stun your special someone with a real conversation killer thanks to these 5 things you didn’t know about the infamous and most publicized gangster hit in American history  – the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre!

Al Capone was and always will be forever accused of plotting the St. Valentines Day Massacre of 1929.  But, Scarface was never directly linked. In fact, this incident and negative publicity didn’t just infuriate Chicago’s public, but it really pissed of Capone’s fellow commission bosses – not the least of which being New York’s Lucky Luciano and Meyer Lansky. Alphonse Capone’s eventual jail time was a result of tax evasion – not murder, bootlegging nor racketeering. Plus, his death did not happen while incarcerated in Alcatraz, but rather while retired in Florida – theorized that years of improperly treated syphilis symptoms was the ultimate culprit. Yet, since that fateful day in 1929, Capone has been the subject of numerous books, movies and other pop culture paraphernalia, thus propelling him into history as an American icon of sorts.

The seven men executed in the garage that day all apparently thought it was a police raid, as some of the gunmen were indeed disguised as cops.  The men were lined up facing the wall and immediately delivered a brutal Valentine’s card in the form of sprayed bullets from the infamous Thompson Machine guns. The scene was gruesome, leaving one victim alive – albeit briefly – who never mentioned  the assailant’s identities.

The intended target was Bugs Moran, a longtime competitor of Capone’s business. Fellow bootlegger Moran is said to have been late for the warehouse meeting and when he came around the corner… saw the gunmen enter the building, so he swiftly took off before being noticed.

Moran once told the press that “Capone is a lowlife.” He was also disgusted that Capone engaged in prostitution. Believing himself a better Catholic than Capone, Moran refused to run brothels.

He also came close to killing Capone on two occasions. Jeez, chill out, Bugs and bone an escort.

There was only one witness to the murders – a German Shepherd named Highball.

Left unharmed, the canine never talked to cops either after his owner and companions were gunned down.

Though he survived the incident unscathed, some say his spirit still hangs around the sinister scene and you can still hear ghostly howls.


Only one man was ever charged in connection with the massacre – gangster Jack McGurn.  He, however, had a sultry blond alibi by the name of Louise Rolfe and was never brought to trial. Incidently, McGurn was an avid bowler and would eventually be filled with lead while hitting the lanes – ball in hand – literally!

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