He Said / She Said: Sex On The First Date

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He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help dudes understand what chicks are thinking – I know, impossible. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…you can read the guy side here and the girl side over at CollegeCandy.com. This week’s topic: Sex On The First Date. Strap on some protection, we’re goin’ in!

So you meet a cool girl. You like her. You go out, see a movie, have a meal, all that. It may be awkward, it may be wonderful. Since you’re on a date, it goes without saying you’d like to know the girl intimately. You expect the girl to make you work for it, and, as guys, we will, because maybe, just maybe, she’s that rare cool girl we’ve been searching for all our lives.

Knowing that chicks are still caught up in the stigma that comes with sex on the first date (that they’ll be considered a whore, slut, etc.), chances are slim it’ll happen… unless, of course, you met her on Match.com. Ha!

Let’s just say the girl decides to take the guy inside and f*ck his brains out. Herein is all a woman needs to know what’s going on inside a guy’s mind after we do what it do.

The Pros

We’re not a hook-up, we’re your date. If we shared something worth seeing each other again for, than aren’t you interested in a little more than a movie and a meal? Wouldn’t you like to see us naked, and then make us show you what you were interested in knowing from the get-go?

It’s something fun to share. Surely, you’ve taken hook-ups home, sexed them, and sent them on their way. But of course, you’ll never see them again in this capacity. Next time you and your date go out, however, you’ll have an intimate something to share and discuss. You’ll have jokes, secrets, insights, and observations to share concerning your encounter that you would never have with Johnny Nice-Hair, the asshole who didn’t stick around to spoon and watch you scramble to get to work on time.

The destruction of inhibitions that have always held you back with previous partners is worth its weight in gold. Next time, we’re going to try and outdo your previous expectation. We’re going to go faster, longer, harder, stronger. You have my word.

The Cons


Honestly, if you suck at sex, we’re going to lose interest. Many girls think that the very act of it is enough for us. Such is not the case. We are expecting the same mind-blowing experience you are, and it’s a two way street. Don’t think just because you spread ‘em and pop a pillow under your head that we’re set.

Truthfully, there are those of us that are just looking to add a notch to our belts. But since you’re so sensitive and intuitive, you should be able to spot them a mile away. If you hold back on the first date, you probably won’t hear from them again. They are not aware of their emotional need for a stable love interest. Their father probably wasn’t around and they will never achieve what wasn’t there to set an example. They’ll have a love for Entourage, drink Coors Light exclusively, and only ever order Bacon Cheeseburgers. Also, though they may work out and have a great body, there is a good chance they do steroids. Ask me how I know. Go on, ASK ME.

The Breakdown

Sexual compatibility is a real issue. If we’re going to f*ck you for the rest of our lives, we’d like to know right away if you’re where it’s at. Personally, I had sex with the love of my life on the first date, and that turned into a three year relationship that only ended because A.) it became a long distance relationship, and B.) because she sought the fulfillment of her physical needs elsewhere. It did not end because we freaked on the first date. I stuck around because I liked her. Simply that. The awesome sex was just a bonus, a bonus that I always looked forward to. The sex was a second to the connection that we shared, which is what we’re all looking for anyway, right?

To Girls Who Think They’d Be Considered A Whore:

Very few guys will admit this, but I’m not ashamed to share this truh. All guys are searching for is that one girl that will change everything. Whether or not you have sex with us on the first date does very little to impact that expectation. It’s what you do beyond that, that deems you a whore, a slut, a fling, a hookup, a friend, or that something special.

Know this, we men have all been taught you’re incredibly emotional. More so than we could ever understand. But we males are incredibly physical. Our desire to f*ck and fight is beyond our control. It’s just engrained into our very being. Blood and semen, that’s all we are. And we want to spill both, constantly.

We will never understand or comprehend each other. That is the point of contrasting genders. But, I think we can agree that we are all searching for the right back to lean against when facing the world. We will f*ck, we will fight, we will lose, we will love. But if we have the girl we want to come home to every night, none of that will mater. At the end of the day, if you sexed us on the first date, it becomes such a small thing when weighed against the life connection we could share together.

Want to see what SHE said?

Check out HER response at CollegeCandy.com.

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