XXX-Mas Gift Guide: For Adults Only [Happy Hump Day!]

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To celebrate Hump Day, we’ve put together this XXX-mas gift guide intended for mature audiences only. The following is designed to help guide you or your lover in choosing the best sex toys and accessories on the market today. With so many websites and products to chose from, it’s all too easy to get lost and confused. Luckily for you sexual trailblazers, I’ve personally done all the hard work so you don’t have to. It doesn’t matter if she’s been naughty or nice, if you want to stuff more than her stocking this holiday season then I suggest you start taking notes and pay attention!

Liberator Ramp/Wedge Combo

Liberator is to sex toys what Ferrari is to sports cars – once you get your hands on it you’re never able to comprehend how you functioned without.  This thing is absolutely amazing in the bedroom. The wedge/ramp combo offers you the support and comfort to make sex more exciting and adventurous. When you first incorporate this adult furniture into the bedroom, it may be tricky. Laughter, in this case, is a welcomed thing as the two of you learn how to position it for maximum pleasure. It really is the best thing since sliced bread.

Like it a little kinky? Grab the cuff kit (I highly recommend) and let her tie you up. On second thought, maybe she’s been a very naughty girl who deserves to be punished. Cuff her then slip the blind fold on. What you do next is up to you. The cuffs are quite strong for being so unbelievably comfortable. If you like sex, and what guy doesn’t, you must have a Liberator Ramp/Wedge Combo. Hey, don’t just take my word for it… ask George Clooney.

Hitachi Magic Wand

Originally sold as a massager for your neck, back and legs, the Hitachi Magic Wand has quickly become an MVP in the bedroom. Yeah, you can stop thinking about the resemblance to something you found under your mom’s bed in middle school.  Babeland offers the wand with a nice little attachment at a fair price. With its dual speed control, flexible head, and lengthy power cord (yes, this toy plugs in – that’s how much power you’re getting) she’ll get off in no time. Buy her one of these and she won’t mind you tailgating all day long.

Fleshlight

You’ll also find the Fleshlight at Babeland. Fleshlight has done a better job than alcohol at helping ugly people have sex. Although there will never be a replacement for sweet, sweet puntang, this sex toy is close second. It’s easy to use, easy to clean, and does the job quite well. Put this on your list or buy it for yourself, but get it this holiday season to keep winter depression at bay.

Teaser Tongue Enhancer

In the beginning God created Adam and Eve; since then, they’ve been in the adult toy business.  Although quite simple in design, A c*ck ring with cl*t bumper in addition to a mini bullet, this toy is more than capable of bringing you and your lover to a more intense climax. This is the closer of sex toys – put it on in the 9th inning to enhance your erection and let the 3-speed removable waterproof bullet sensations send you both over the edge for the win!

SEX! The Card Game of Sexual Positions

Adam and Eve also offers naughty games that make for a great stocking stuffer. SEX! The Card Game explicitly illustrates either a foreplay activity or a sexual position. Offering over 100,000 possible fantasies for you two to act out and 3 ways to play, this adult game is sure to be a gift that keeps on giving. (You had to know that was coming) Deal this naughty deck and rake in a sheet-scorching night of sexual adventure! Play a game and you’ll come out with a fully developed five-position fantasy for you both to reenact together!

Christmas deals can be found on the Adam and Eve homepage and HERE are the seasonal gifts. Merry Christmas Indeed!

Babeland Body Kit

Baby, it’s cold outside. Why don’t you put this under the tree this year? This nice little assortment comes complete with top-of-the-line home spa products. She’ll love the fizzy bath soap and aromatic candles to help her relax. Hey, she might even let you watch her use the present. This is one of the best gifts for $25 and under. No woman can resist a guy who is sensitive to her needs, one of which is taking long, hot baths to unwind.

She Comes First

Even if the last book you read was in high school, She Comes First is something I think all guys should at least thumb through. From cover to cover, you’ll find detailed images and “instructions’, if you will, to help guide you to the promised land. Master this book to become King of the Clit.

Sex Therapy Kit

Don’t bother calling the doctor for this one! Everything you need to turn an ho-hum night into one full of sexual healing is included in this romantic kit for lovers. Fuzzy cuffs, candles, naughty coupon books plus so much more. Remember this the next time you’re whisking her away to wine country or staying at the in-laws for the holidays. Nothing spices up her sex drive like adventure and spontaneity. These sex toys are sure to melt more than just the snow.

Shunga Chocolate Body Sauce

You don’t need to be Tiger Woods to tickle her fancy with your stroke nor do you need to be Van Gogh to please her with your chocolate masterpiece. Use this 3.5oz. container of gourmet chocolate sauce as the paint while you let your artistic side free on her body – the canvas. You’ll need a miracle to keep her from laughing when the brush gently glides over her vivacious curves. When you’re satisfied with your work, lick her clean. I know, great isn’t it?

The author has a material connection with these companies and receives products as in-kind-payments for review.

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