Host Your Own Friendsgiving

By Edit Posted in Booze + Food, Culture, Sports

Sometimes, family sucks.  Wouldn’t you rather kick back a few beers and play COD than listen to your grandmother complain about halter tops and loud music?  Even if you like your family, maybe you don’t like driving six hours to join them for a meal (especially if you can’t get high along the way).  Why not host your own Thanksgiving, bro-style?

If you’re ambitious enough to cook your own turkey, take into consideration weight and the quality of your oven before you attempt to set your dorm on fire cook.  Or, celebrate the lazy man’s way:  turkey cold cuts.  Stuffing takes five minutes out of a box, as do mashed potatoes.  Better yet, ask your guests to bring dishes and provide only the beer.  Fair trade, man.

Does your place kind of suck?  Rent some furniture and electronics from Rent-A-Center or a similar service.  Be sure to get a damage deposit to cover the results of indoor tackle football after the first keg and simply return everything after the party.  (Yes, they actually LET you do that.)  Just don’t ask to rent the hot chick working there.

As Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful, don’t invite people you’re apt to kick out.  Friendsgiving should be a time of drunken “I love you, man”s, not beer-fueled fights over the last slice of apple pie.  Or boxed tart, however you roll.

Enjoy the ensuing four-day weekend/hangover!