Football is a beautiful game – the classic struggle of man versus man, the pop of pads hitting pads, the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, and, of course, the cheerleaders and tailgating. As much as we hate to admit it, TV broadcasters are important to the whole experience. You get the right people in the booth and on the field and even the worst games can become worth watching. However, you get the wrong people in those positions and even the best games can become unbearable to watch. The following personalities will drive anyone to hit the mute button.
Terry Bradshaw (FOX)
He fumbles over halftime highlights, mispronounces names, and generally acts like a fool. His knowledge is clouded over by the childish antics. His down home Louisiana act got old real quick.
Shannon Sharpe (CBS)
I feel like I need closed captioning and a translator to understand what he’s saying. Not good when your primary responsibility is talking.
Tony Siragusa (FOX)
Fat men make us feel better about not exercising and come Christmas/ playoffs time they make us think of Santa. This one though brings nothing to the table when it comes to football. He makes unbelievably obvious commentary that is mind numbingly and painstakingly dumb.
Dan Dierdorf (ABC, CBS)
The game has passed him by. His best contributions are the occasional obscure facts, but for the most part you wonder what the heck he is talking about. When he does actually talk about the game he is the most obvious person on earth. Yes, Dan I saw him run left and then switch directions so the big scary linebacker would not hit him. I don’t need you to point that out for me.
This smarmy, snarky, dull bore is one half of FOX’s current “A” Team. He and his partner Troy “Captain Concussion” Aikman almost manage to make any game a snoozefest. If you remember correctly, Joe Buck successfully made one of the greatest plays in Super Bowl history (The Helmet Catch featuring Eli Manning to David Tyree) sound like a 3 yard run up the middle. Yet, he went ballistic on Randy Moss when he fake mooned the Packers faithful. He has his job because of his legendary father and got his ass handed to him on his own HBO show by Artie Lange. Looking forward to his retirement.
Football Night in America (NBC)
Though it’s listed by many as the best one on television. If it were at the same time as the other pre-games I think it would be dead last. It feels like more of a production, like a faux reality show.
John Madden (CBS, FOX, ABC)
I know this guy is loved by many far and wide, but he had his detractors. He was like the Dick Vitale of the NFL; he knows what he’s talking about, but talked way too much. He often couldn’t let a second of game go by without commenting. If it was at least relevant or interesting, great, but he’d mostly talk about anything just to hear the sound of his own voice. Love the video games, miss the horse trailer, but many won’t miss John Madden.
Eric Dickerson (ABC)
The man got the teams wrong during games. It was so obvious he was reading off cue cards it was ridiculous. You da man on the field Eric, but it was obvious you’ve been hit in the head too much to be a sideline reporter. All video footage of Eric on MNF has been erased, so enjoy this PSA from 1987.
Dennis Miller (ABC)
Why? Why was this man hired? Better yet, why was he allowed to do more than one season? He didn’t know football; he could barely talk football, and often just added noise to the airwaves. The man is funny and was funny at times, but that was not what I wanted when I tuned into MNF. Hear Dennis Miller’s take on it in the video below:
Deion Sanders (NFL Network)
That smile and flash can only get you so far. You need to actually know what you’re talking about.
Michael Irvin (ESPN, NFL Network)
Irvin looks like he’s on drugs every telecast.