One of the most talked about news items the past few weeks has been the Carrie Prejean sex tapes which even earned her an interview on Larry King Live where she managed to make herself look like a bigger idiot than before.
The sex tape craze has been big among D-List celebrities in the past few years and if you were thinking “who cares?” about the Prejean sex tape, here are some that you may have missed… hopefully.
Most people know Tom Sizemore as that guy from that movie but few know that Sizemore (all 300 pounds of him) released a sex tape a few years ago in order to pay his legal and rehab bills prompting all eight people who bought it to go “Ewww.”
Sizemore’s tape did teach us a valuable lesson, though. It doesn’t matter how fat or disgusting you are, if you have money there are countless women who will sleep with you.
Verne Troyer (a.k.a. Mini Me)
Yes, the little guy from Austin Powers made his own sex tape to rival the grossness of the Sizemore tape.
Troyer says that he did not release the tape and it was magically stolen by the guy who released Paris Hilton’s sex tape…because people always rummage through little people’s homes to see if there’s any vids of them banging.
Troyer also taught us a valuable lesson: no matter how tiny or weird looking you are, if you have been on film there are people who will sleep with you.
By the way, way better than the sex tape is the video of Troyer riding his scooter around naked and wasted on some dumb reality show.
Dustin Diamond (a.k.a. Screech)
Diamond is a perfect example of the mentality of a delusional “celebrity.” The guy’s only work since Saved by the Bell was an appearance on Celebrity Boxing and Celebrity Fit Club yet he thinks that a sex tape will send him back to starhood.
Do you know why Kim Kardashian blew up after sex tapes came out? Because she is smoking hot and more importantly a girl. You’re the guy who played Screech.
After leaving the WWE, Chyna appeared in Playboy and then came out with a sex tape (it was called “One Night in Chyna”…very original) that featured her and former WWE “superstar” Sean Waltman (1-2-3 Kid/X-Pac).
This was the closest that we have seen to a gay celebrity sex tape.
The fact that Fred Durst is arguably the most famous person on this list makes me sad for our country.
Durst supposedly didn’t release the tape (it was allegedly stolen by a guy who was fixing his computer) and ironically only became more irrelevant after the tape was leaked.
This one is my favorite because it was actually sold by Penthouse who thought that people would want to see Tonya Harding and her husband having sex.
They were wrong.
Follow the author, Igor Derysh, on Twitter @IgorDerysh
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