Looking for news ways to take your procrastination technique to the next level? Yeah, us too. That’s why we’ve scoured YouTube for the funniest/most disgusting challenges ever filmed and put on the Internet (don’t worry, 2 Girls 1 Cup didn’t make the list). Give ‘em a shot, and get a buddy to film you. You might just end up being the next big viral video superstar. Your mom will be so proud!
#10: The Cinnamon Challenge
Commenter BooksBooks claims to have done this three times (WTF? Once wasn’t enough?). Apparently, the key to this challenge is breathing slowly. Funny, that’s the same thing Cosmo says about The Anal Sex Challenge.
Anyway, I could have posted any one of the 500 videos of guys successfully completing this mission, but none of those featured hot girls or suburban housewives. Yeah, you’re welcome.
#9: The 4 Quad Stacker Challenge
Don’t know what a Quad Stacker is? Hop on the bus, and let me take you to school: it’s a pile of four beef patties, four slices of American cheese and eight slices of bacon on a sesame seed bun. To complete the challenge, you need to house four of them. For those of you who majored in sleeping with sorority girls (also known as the Liberal Arts Degree), that works out to 16 beef patties, 16 slices of American cheese and 32 pieces of bacon. Mmmm, bacon.
The pansy in this video had The King himself rubbing his shoulders throughout (creepy factor of +5), and he still puked at the end. To win the challenge, you need to keep it all down for at least five minutes. Also, you lose major cool points for using a fork. Real men eat with their hands, natch.
#8: The Wendy’s $1 Menu Challenge
And Part II
I could list each of the 10 items on the original $1 Menu used for this challenge, or you could skip :19 into the first video and see for yourself. Don’t be a lazy bastard (leave that to me!). I will tell you that the calorie count of all 10 items comes to 2,830, or roughly the size of Khloe Kardashian’s afternoon snack.
As with all eating challenges, the idea is to keep it all down. Puke and you’re out. I don’t want to spoil anything for you, but the time to beat in the video is 13:13, and not everyone made it. Also, if you decide to complete this challenge and post it on YouTube, don’t use a community puking bucket. That’s effing gross.
#7: The Raw Onion Challenge
You don’t need to speak Italian to get the gist of this one: nom your way through a raw onion, preferably in less than 1:30 (if you want to break the world record, at least). It’s like an apple, only juicier. Horf!
#6: The Coconut Chop Challenge
Down some liquid courage (I recommend Bacardi 151) and see if you have what it takes to fare better than this loser. You may end up with a broken hand and a bruised ego, but at least you won’t have humiliated yourself on Danish TV.
#5: The Five Saltine Challenge
This guy is a douche extraordinaire, but the challenge is a valid one: eat five saltine crackers in less than a minute, without drinking anything in between. No bonus points are awarded for dancing like you’ve just been crowned King of the special ed prom.
#4: The Blazin’ Hot Wing Challenge
Ever been to Buffalo Wild Wings? Ever tried their Blazin’ sauce? It’s no joke. They make you sign a waiver before they’ll serve it to you! Some frat boys from Kappa Sigma in San Antonio decided to snarf down six Blazin’ wings in under five minutes, presumably for the free tee shirt the restaurant gives you if you get them all down.
Since nothing makes my heart smile like watching frat boys cry, I had to put this one in at the #4 spot (not that these are in any particular order). At 4:10 in the video, one of them makes the fatal error of wiping his teary eyes with a napkin covered in the sauce. Pro tip: don’t do that.
#3: The Powdered Doughnut Challenge
Apparently, it’s a big deal if you can eat five powdered doughnuts in under five minutes with nothing to drink. If you can do it in under three minutes, you’ll have yourself a world record. These two office dudes didn’t even come close, but they did succeed in wasting 3:07 of my life that I’ll never get back. Thanks, guys.
#2: The Gallon of Milk Challenge
After all those doughnuts, you’re going to want something to drink, right? Might as well try to down a gallon of milk in under a minute. I’ve heard that it’s impossible, but this toolbag did it in 41 seconds. The video ends shortly thereafter, so there’s no way of knowing whether or not he kept it down. I’m guessing probably not.
#1: The Egg Nog Challenge
What, was the gallon milk challenge too easy for you? Try downing 50 shots of egg nog in under an hour. If the guys from Jackass couldn’t do it, I doubt that you and your drunk roommate have a chance. Still, it’s worth a try. You’ve got nothing to lose (besides your dignity).