7 Cocky Douches That Guys Love to Hate

By    August 25, 2010 3:00 pm     Posted in Features, Headliner 1, Lifestyle, Lists, WTF   lukeshow24 g+ page

Guys love to hate celebrities for one stupid reason or another. Sometimes it’s because our wives or girlfriends have a crush on them or sometimes it’s because they’re overrated, untalented nobodies who people obsesses over for no reason. Either way, we can all agree that cocky douchebags are the worst celebrities of them all, well, other than the non-celebrity celebrities (I’m talking to you, Jersey Shore). Here’s a list of the cocky douches that we love to hate.

7. Criss Angel

This guy cracks me up. I know magicians are supposed to put on an act, but the “Mindfreak” is so obnoxiously overboard that it’s funny. He has his friends, family, and crew on camera, wearing Criss Angel shirts, talking about how crazy and talented Criss Angel is. His creepy whisper of “Mindfreak”, followed by the awkward breathing onto the lens before apparently deep throating the camera is borderline nauseating. Sure, the ladies love it, but us guys see it as a lame attempt to be sexy.


6. Alex Rodriguez

I can say I’ve hated A-Rod since even before 2000, when he turned down a $250 million deal with the New York Mets to sign a $252 million deal with the Texas Rangers — handicapping that now bankrupt franchise for most of the decade. His smug look and arrogant persona was overshadowed by fans as he ran with the perception of being the non-steroid answer to Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire. Then there was the interview where he “admitted” to doing steroids, saying he was naive to it in a clubhouse that had more steroid users than poor plot twists in an M. Night Shyamalan movie.  Yeah, ok. He’d be higher on the list if he was still ringless or if the Yankees still needed to have paramedics on standby during every big at bat because they knew he’d choke.


5. LeBron James

It’s crazy what a simple decision can do to change ones image. It wasn’t long ago that the self-proclaimed “King” was the face of the NBA, loved by fans around the world, and favored to take over Kobe’s throne. This summer, as arguably the biggest Free Agent in the history of sports, LeBron used the stage to show us who he really is, with a self-indulged, egotistical one-hour special to stab his hometown fans in the back by announcing he was taking his talents to a South Beach slumber party with his BFF’s (I believe Paris Hilton has done something similar, but didn’t need a TV special to do so). His arrogance made him believe everyone would always like him, no matter the decision. Mr. James should know that Kings wear rings by leading their country to victory. I’m just saying, Leonidas didn’t jump onto Xerxes’ team.


4. Wilmer Valderrama

Attention ladies: God’s gift to sexy just walked through the door! That’s basically what Wilmer thinks every morning when he wakes up. Funny thing for a cocky douche though when no one knows who you are. “Big Wil”, as he calls himself, was on TV the other day and I had no clue who the smug-looking tool was until someone told me it was that dork from That 70′s Show. Partying and celebrity dating with women far more successful than you sure can turn a little nerd into a cocky douche, but not even Ashton Kutcher has ever been considered cocky and we all actually know who he is.


3. Noah and Liam Gallagher

I know what you’re thinking: Who? Noah and Liam are the douchey brother team that brought us the God-awful band, Oasis. These guys think that they’re the center of the Universe, even though their egos are so big that they don’t even like each other. The Big-Headed Brits have said enough douchebag quotes to fill a book, but here are some that stand out: “We are the biggest band in Britain of all time, ever.” (uh, the Beatles anyone?). “I respect the Stones but their songs are a pile of crap.” (I guess they never heard an Oasis CD). “Americans want grungy people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don’t get it.” (no, we just don’t get how boring,  stupid looking douches with punchable faces and a bad attitude can think they’re bigger than music itself).


2. John Mayer

If Wilmer Valderrama is God’s gift to sexy, then John Mayer is God’s gift to women. This guy oozes douche like a group of dudes wearing sunglasses inside…at night. He started off innocent enough, writing songs that mirrored a sunset on a private beach, but as his fame grew, so did his ego. After numerous celebrity relationships and tabloid covers, John Mayer believes he is every woman’s dream and every man’s inspiration. How does someone think he’s so cool (and a badass) when he plays such sissy music?! John Mayer will probably tell you the answer without thinking twice about the words that vomit out his mouth. Anyone want to guess who’s gonna follow in this guy’s footsteps? I’ll take Justin Bieber, whoever the hell that is!


1. Kanye West

“I’m the #1 artist in the world right now…I am the #1 human being in music.” It doesn’t matter when this quote was said by Mr. Overrated, it was never the case. Was there any question who the cockiest douche is? Kanye is so full of himself, I would bet that he buys a million of his own CD’s just so his sales are up. Does anyone really take this guy seriously? Even though he claimed that being called a gay fish on television set him straight, a few months later he pulled the infamous stunt at the MTV Video Music Awards. This guy’s a cocky douche no matter what he does or says. So step on up Kanye, and accept an award meant for you, one that you actually deserve: Cockiest Douche Guys Love to Hate!

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    Tags: a-rod, Alex-Rodriguez, Ashton-Kutcher, barry-bonds, Basketball - NBA, beatles, Celebrity, cocky, criss-angel, douche, douchebag, ego

    Comments

    17 Responses to “7 Cocky Douches That Guys Love to Hate”
    1. Alex says:
      August 25, 2010 at 6:26 pm

      BTW it is Noel Gallagher not Noah…but nice research though…

    2. rb says:
      August 27, 2010 at 12:44 am

      just to make it clear, a lot of us brits hate the gallaghers too.

    3. C'mon says:
      August 31, 2010 at 12:45 pm

      How is Justin Bieber not inside?

    4. brian says:
      August 10, 2012 at 5:59 pm

      I thought wilmar was a pretty cool, I have seen him for awhile so he must have changed. He has dated some good looking women, lindsey lohan(when she was hot) and mandy moore and I'm sure there are others. I don't get it though, it's not like he looks like a male model or anything.

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