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Sexual Robolution: Sex Robots

This seems like a flashback to Lars and the Real Girl, but bear with me:  First there was the blow-up doll- pretty much a hyped up air mattress with three glory holes for any man’s pleasure.  Then there was the Real Doll sex doll- sort of feels like real skin, and they are eerily lifelike- somewhat impressive.  But all of that is nothing compared to the this…TrueCompanion recently introduced Roxxxy TrueCompanion, the world’s first sex robot (yes you read that correctly, a sex robot).

Roxxxy responds to both voice and physical stimulation (she can have a conversation with you and have an orgasm) and through routine interaction she’s able to learn your likes and dislikes, eventually becoming your ideal companion.  She comes preloaded with five separate girlfriend personalities (one to fit every man’s desire: Wild Wendy, Frigid Farrah, Mature Martha, S&M Susan and Young), but you can program new ones with the touch of a button.  You can even share your girlfriend personalities with friends on the TrueCompanion website (something I like to call sex robot swinging).

If you have an extra $7,000 laying around, then you’ll be able to experience Roxxxy in all her sex robot glory.  If you don’t have the cash, you can go out and try to get yourself a real girlfriend but: 1-she probably won’t put out on the first date.  2-she’ll probably end up costing you more than $7,000 when all is said and done, leaving you penniless and heartbroken after she dumps you.

So what does this all mean for today’s dating scene.  Well it pretty much doesn’t change a damn thing.  This just give you a greater opportunity to cheat on your girl with an inanimate object and pleasure yourself with something other than your hand when you’re single.  For those of you who are into the whole sex doll thing (we know that you’re out there) and prefer them over real girls, then this gives you a chance to actually tell your doll “I love you” and have her say it back instead of just staring past you into oblivion.

It’s 2010 and the future of artificial intelligence is officially upon us; I, Robot is one step closer to being a reality and it’s starting with sex robots.

  • lchiazzoCOED Writer