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A Quick History of Why Men Like Boobs and Butts

Why do we love boobs so much? And for the ass men out there, what is so compelling about a tight, well-formed, luscious, perfect glutemus maximus? And thirdly, who cares as long as we get a good piece of each? Good, poignant, thought provoking queries. The first two we delve into below. The third one: you’re right, it really doesn’t matter as long as you’ve got a hand on at least one of them.  But aren’t you just a little curious?

http://www.foxmoviechannel.com/images/movie_details/66L0002_lg_1_Adam-and-Eve.jpg

If you believe in creationism, then the answer is simple: the big dude willed it be. God said to Adam “Thou shalt covet Boobs as a starving man desire’s bread!” and that was pretty much it. For those of us who aren’t so sure about that explanation, one theory that traces our genetic ancestry back a few hundred thousand years is enough to enlighten the inquisitive mind as to why we would be so interested in such things as the point of boob.

http://blog.nola.com/living/large_Cavemen.jpg

Just like in star wars, this story starts out a long time ago, in a land far far away (but not that far really), when our ancestors were covered in fur and walked on all fours. They had sex in the position that we would call “doggy style”, as most primates still do today, which some would consider the pinnacle of sexual evolution. And here you have the root of our love of the posterior: Ass is what they see during sex and those who become aroused by this view (ass-monkeys, if you will), will presumably seek this view more often, which results in more little ass-monkeys being born (vs. foot-monkeys, for instance). As the theory goes, we  retained this monkey obsession with the behind (check out these ass poses and tell me you don’t feel motivated to mate), but the love of boobs (and actually, boobs themselves), came later.

http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/young-couple-having-sex-motion-blur.jpg

Over the course of generations, the ancient ass-loving primates began to change: they began to walk more and more upright, began losing their fur, and began listening to crappy music like Creed. This resulted in the Homo Sapiens we see around us today.  Now, this new ape differed from its predecessors in other ways too: it used elaborate tools (okay a sharp rock on the end of a stick might not seem so fancy, but it was cutting edge technology in 40,000 BC) and language. It also began having sex in the missionary position (one small step for man, one step backwards for sex) which the upright, two-legged frame now allowed. This kinky new face-to-face sex thing theoretically promoted bonding between the mating partners, which would increase the dude’s commitment to the fam and as a result increase the chance of off-spring surviving.

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00500/maximain_500031a.jpg

Now, since humans began making whoopie in the horizontal face to face position, what is a man looking at? Face and chest. So human females evolved in these areas to attract desirable males (in some cases they attracted females, which in turn attracted more men; score 1 for girl on girl). But how do you improve this view for an animal that has evolved over eons to really appreciate a great ass? Easy: you add the curves of a great ass! No surprise then that nice cleavage resembles a nice ass eh?

And there you have it. There really is a reason you can’t stop staring at the beautiful rack of the young woman sitting across from you on the subway. That is its whole purpose, actually: to get you interested in making babies, or at the very least in donating your seed. But be careful young ape, for the power of the boobs is strong. Just don’t neglect the fine booties out there; after all, it is your legacy.

    Comments

    Comments

    1. […] history of why men like boobs and butts. […]

    2. bry says:

      Nice article. sometimes people do the doggy style just for fun, excitement or thrill while making love. because some girls are being aroused while they are in pain.

    3. […] a bipolar hermaphrodite with OCD, ADD, and a PhD that will only consider companions with EEE breasts and a cleanly shaved head and facial tats. Any takers? Hold up, my phone’s […]

    4. […] well aware of by now. It gets a whole month because there’s nothing better than a set of sweet melons. No offense gay guys who don’t like boobs, that’s the fatal flaw in your whole game. […]

    5. […] Why do men like boobs? That’s easy: they’re the t*ts! While some guys are butt men, they can’t deny the power of the sweater puppies. Some guys like their boobs small, some “e***“, some real, some fake. It really doesn’t matter how big they are – though some would say you could always go bigger while others say you CAN go TOO big –  or what they’re doing – whether it’s jiggling, hanging, or getting grabbed – we’ll never get tired of staring at boobs. That’s why we present our third annual edition of “Beware the Boob Stare”! If you want to see more, check out 2009‘s and 2010‘s versions. […]

    6. Col.Sarc says:

      I was lost without your words. Thanks bro.

    7. SPREAD THE WORD!!!!! says:

      ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      they can hear, and see what your visually thinking
      this is the absolute complete truth, THIS SERIOUSLY IS NO JOKE!!!!!

      The reason a lot of Asians have completely expressionless faces, segregate from everybody else-only associate with Asians and don’t associate with non Asians that much, and are very unfriendly in general is to avoid accidentally revealing that they can read minds. If all over a billion Asians where to show facial expressions all the time just as much as non Asians, integrate and associate with non Asians much more, and be much more friendly and talkative, then a lot of them might accidentally reveal that they can read minds by accidentally showing a facial expression or dirty look when someone thinks, or visually pictures something in their mind they don’t like, find astonishing, or funny etc because those people might see that and really wonder what that was that just happened there and see the connection, and they might accidentally say something similar to what the person was just thinking and going to say. If they all associated with non Asians a lot more then there would be a lot more people around for them to accidentally show facial expressions when those people think things they don’t like etc, so they segregate and only associate with Asians so there won’t be anyone around for them to see that and have any accidents happen in the first place.

      Try thinking, best yet visually picturing in your mind something absolutely crazy as you possibly can when you are around Asians, and try looking for Asians who give people particular looks, especially dirty looks for what appears to be for completely no reason, that is them giving people looks when they hear and visually see someone thinking something they don’t like, find astonishing, or funny etc.

      I know this may sound crazy, impossible and unbelievable, BUT IT ISN’T CRAZY WHEN IT’S TRUE

      YOU HAVE TO SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!!!
      THE WORLD HAS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS!!!!!!

    8. qwe says:

      WOmen don't see ass when you fck them. But they still like it.

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