10 Sexy 90′s Babes Who Disappeared Off the Face of the Earth

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Sophia Vergara Overdose [PHOTO GALLERY]Sophia Vergara Overdose [PHOTO GALLERY]

I’ll admit, I’m a sucker for hopping back in time for an hour and reliving my youth.  So in honor of our adolescent years, this blog is dedicated to an issue that is pertinent to just about any warm-blooded heterosexual male who grew up in the 90′s and watched television or movies. Today I give you my top-ten list of hot female celebrities from the 90′s who have all but disappeared from our lives (but will be remembered fondly for their contributions to our fantasies).

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10. Gillian Anderson: “People” magazine chose her as one of its 50 most beautiful people in 1997 and syndication  checks haven’t stopped rolling in since the T.V. series shut down in 2002. Minus a couple more X-Files movies and a role in 2006′s “Last King of Scotland” Anderson seems to be doing a great job of shedding the limelight. I could insert a cheap joke about being abducted by aliens here but I’m worried that if she ever reads this, a sloppy mistake  like that could cost me a date.

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9. Danielle Fishel: I know, I know you’re thinking, “Who in the &$#@ is Danielle Fishel?” and that my friends is the point. Most people know her better as Topanga Lawerence of one my personal favorites of the decade, “Boy Meets World.” Fishel grew into her own during the show’s run and during her tenure she transformed from the crazy girl next door to the crazy-hot girlfriend of  Cory Matthews (Ben Savage). While all the viewers knew that frustratingly goofy Cory didn’t deserve the pristine piece of highschool-hottie that was Topanga, what we didn’t know is where Fishel would end up after the show ended.  The 29-year-old actress’ most notable role since 2000 has been either her one-episode stint on Yes Dear or her role as Marla in National Lampoon’s Dorm Daze.

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8. Tatyana Ali: She played Ashley Banks on The Fresh Prince of Bellaire and provided us with something easy on the eyes to combat Carelton’s painful dancing and Uncle Phil’s less than flattering girth (Sorry guys, but someone had to say it right?). Often overshadowed by the genius that was Will Smith and the more involved storylines of secondary characters, somewhere along the line, Ali and the shows producers realized that the best way for a growing Ashley to get noticed was for her to get her grown woman on. It worked, She’ll forever be part of awkward teen fantasies but, as in the case of the rest of the actresses on this list, on-screen hotness just doesn’t guarantee career longevity.

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7. Alicia Sliverstone: This one was a tough one for me because Silverstone played the cute klutz angle all to well in 1995′s Clueless which would mean that her “hottness” might not be radiating enough heat to make it on this list. But then reason prevailed when appealing to an unlikely source; 1997′s Batman and Robin.  Ok, so picture this: A lost and rebellious Barbara Wilson (Silverstone) strolls into Wayne Manor looking for guidance. Instead of going out and making a crappy movie with Chris O’Donnell — aka someone who shouldn’t be in this movie anyways — and a not yet good George Clooney, she wants to don her own leather costume and work up and nice sweat by sparring with you. No, that’s not how the movie goes, I know that…but a guy can dream right? And chances are you might be thinking about it too, which attests to Silverstone’s hottness and solidifies her as my number seven.

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6. Stacy Dash: I’m going to be honest with you this might be a stretch since Dash, of Clueless fame, just had a stint on The Game (which isn’t a half bad show) in 2009. But do me a solid and lets throw that out for now. Dash is best known for her role as Dee in the Clueless Movie, alongside Silverstone, and on the T.V spin-off of the film.  None of those things have anything to do with Dash being on this list though. All I’m going to say is find a copy of the little known film Illegal in Blue to see more of Dash’s um…adventurous side. I suggest watching with the sound off because of horrid acting — and if your with friends, maybe a blanket so things don’t get, ah…weird.

5. Shannon Elizabeth: Bursting on the scene as European fire cracker Nadia in the first American Pie movie, Shannon Elizabeth seemed poised to make a run at becoming the newest actress to only be in movies because she shows her boobs, not that guys would be complaining too much. But after a not horrible role as Buffy in 200′s Scary Movie, a “blah”  reprise of her role in American Pie 2 and a forgettable part in 2003′s Love Actually (Wait, she was in Love Actually? For real?) Elizabeth was relegated to the realm of destitute T.V. shows because she wasn’t really willing to play into the often naked never intelligent roles that hollywood tried to force her into. Elizabeth tasted brief television success during a stint on Fox’s That 70′s show but was quickly thrust back into the bad movie abyss after her run on the show was over.

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4. Sarah Michelle Geller: She kicked ass, she took names. Gellar had plenty of fan favorites (see: I Know What You Did Last Summer, Scream 2, and Cruel intentions) in the 90′s and she was believable enough as a vampire-slaying badass in Buffy the Vampire slayer that her show ran from 1997-2003.  The Grudge 2, in 2006, was basically the last Sarah Michelle Gellar Movie with any sort of mass appeal and since the movies release Gellar’s most notable work has been on Seth Green’s Robot Chicken. Not a bad gig I suppose, but it can’t beat bludgeoning baddies to dust everyday.

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3. Heather Locklear: Name the last show that Heather Locklear was in, I dare you…bet you can’t do it. Oddly enough it’s actually the same show she gained most of her fame from — Melrose Place. While she stepped back into her old role for eight episodes, Locklear has yet to reclaim the success that she made her one of the most hated yet most doable women on the planet during the 90′s. Now she does, a little bit of everything, it just so happens that none of it’s really sexy anymore. But hey, who wants to be a sex icon when you can have an one-episode arch on Hannah Montana right? Oh how the mighty have fallen.

2. Elizabeth Hurley: Despite not being as amazingly named as Fabiana Udenio character in 1997′s Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery and despite hooking up with Hugh Grant (Really? Hugh Grant?) Hurley emblazoned a place in our hearts with her  “I’m a sexy british chick” motif  and her beyond sexy accent. Hurley’s popularity peaked soon after her second go around with the Austin Power’s series In ’99. Her next most notable movie is 2000′s Bedazzled and I still struggle to grasp the fact someone decided to take one of the hottest women in the world and put her in a movie with Brendan Fraser.  Despite a surprisingly short career this sizzling Brit definitely deserves to be your “Number 2″.

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1. Tiffani Theissen: Oh Kelly Kapowski, what can we say that hasn’t already been said? Sure I personally hated Saved By The Bell, and no I was never a big fan of Beverly Hills 90210 but that doesn’t mean that we can’t rekindle our 90′s love affair…alright, I’m done. But I mean come on, the woman may or may not be a goddess banished to live amongst us mere mortals. Theissen wasn’t just hot to guys like me in the 90′s either, she was absolutely on fire in hollywood. She appeared on Married With Children, Step by Step, Blossom, Saved by the Bell, Beverly Hills 90210 and News Radio all in one decade. That’s impressive. Theissen then muddled through various low-budget tv and movie rolls before landing and role–and a potentially claim to relevancy–in 2009′s White Collar. To us though, she’ll always be smokin’ hot Kelly Kapowski and does it get more relevant than that?

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