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14 Dumbest Rap Lyrics of All Time

Rappers all say or do pretty stupid things at times. Take a look at the picture above and that’s idiocy in a nutshell. Millions of dollars are going out to these performers who come up with the gems we are about to discuss.  While at first you may think to yourself, “wow I love this song.” You soon start to ask yourself “but what the heck is he talking about?” We have listened to rap music for 30 years now and have narrowed the worst lyrics down to 14 biggest offenders.

1. G-Unit, T.O.S.

Unit! Who, who, who, who, who, who want it?
Who, who, who, who, who, who want it?
Which gangsta want it? (WHAT?) Which rapper want it? (WHAT?)
Which trapper want it? My house is haunted

Turns out the hood isn’t threatening because of gangsters and people who ” bust caps” as they say, but because of Tony Yayo’s house of ghosts and ghouls. Honestly though, who wants it and what is it?
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2. Drake ft. Lil Wayne-Unstoppable

My name is Weezy
I’m almost perfect
And I work harder than hard working.

Lil’ Wayne works so hard that he works harder than hard work. The rap business is truly hard considering all the marijuana smoking, hoe getting, and millions of dollars rolling in. Must really stress you out.
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3. Lil Wayne ft. Young Money-Every Girl

I exchange V cards with the retards.

Mack Maine, not only am I sure this is illegal, but I believe it is also frowned upon to fornicate with the mentally challenged. Stick to rapping about money, weed, and bitches — which is really the only thing rappers rap about these days anyway.
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4. Young Dro-Shoulder Lean

Hood n!$$@from Bankhead, I stay by Grandma Nana
I lay by my banana, dumpin’ and punkin’ monkeys

It is never allowed to talk about your grandma and having sex, or “punkin’ monkeys” in this case, in the same bar. I am not exactly sure how you lay by your banana either. I’m guessing banana means penis, so I’m going to need an explanation for that one.
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5. Yung Joc ft. Gorilla Zoe-Coffeeshop

I got so many whips, they call me whippolicious.

If somebody ever called me whippolicious, I think I’d punch him in the face. Not because it means I have so many ‘whips’, but because I would have no idea what that means without a very specific explanation. Anything from a guy named Gorilla Zoe though, I really shouldn’t expect much.

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6. DMX-Where the Hood at

(a)I beat my dick and bust off in ya eye so you can see me comin/cumin

(b)Last I heard, y’all n@#%#$ was havin sex, with the SAME sex

Same song, same result. This is just gay. Arf, arf, arf.

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7. Puff Daddy ft. Ma$e-Can’t nobody hold me down.

You name it, I could claim it
Young, black, and famous, with money hangin’ out the anus

If I was Ma$e and I had money hanging out of my anus, I’d consult a doctor very quickly…unless this is what he intended to do.

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8. Kanye West ft. Young Jeezy-Amazing

Standing at my podium
I’m trying watch my sodium

Nothing amazing about this, Young Jeezy isn’t trying to impress anyone here as this is what we call a “filler.” Or maybe, Jeezy does want to watch his sodium levels when he’s giving a speech about being amazing. I guess.

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9. Gucci Mane-Every Gucci Mane song or appearance ever.

Brr!

Gucci Mane is so cold from his ridiculous looking Bart Simpson chain that he has to say how cold he is in every song he’s been in. I too am icy, but it could be because I left a window open, BRR!

XXX

10. Rick Ross ft. T-Pain, Kanye West, and Lil’ Wayne

All Black, Maybach I’m sittin’ in the asshole

No comment. Continue to sit in your asshole and work hard Lil’ Wayne.

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11. Soulja Boy ft. Jim Jones, Young Jeezy, Fabolous, and Lil’ Wayne

Dunkin’ on the game like Stephon Marbury.
I got red Aston Martin, I call it my strawberry

Really? Stephon Marbury? Stephon Marbury dunking? I’m a huge basketball fan and I have yet to see Stephon Marbury dunk. Of all the players in the league and Soulja Boy pulls out Stephon Marbury? A guy who doesn’t even play in the league anymore because he was too much of an ass is mentioned as a dunker. I shouldn’t be surprised considering it was from Soulja Boy, but c’mon there are so many better choices.

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12. Lil’ Wayne ft. Juelz Santana-Black Republicans Remix

Rock star, flier than an ostrich

Penguin would have been acceptable too, Mr. Santana. I also am flier than a flightless bird.

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13. Oj da Juiceman-I’m gettin’ money.

Weather man report it was snowing for the summer

plus I got those thangs going for a good numba movin in a grand prix same color as thunder.

That must be an interesting color for a Grand Prix considering thunder is a noise.

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Joc, your girlfriends, Woof!

14. Slim ft. Yung Joc-So fly

I got gmail respect the g code.

What does Yung Joc think the G stands for exactly?

With every new song that comes out, we experience the possibility of another terrible lyric bestowed upon us. It might hurt our ears at first, but after a while you learn to laugh at just how bad it is and then you become sad because the person who dunks on the game like Stephon Marbury just got the newest Bentley.

JohnCOED Writer