What You Need To Know Before Dating Older Women

By Edit Posted in Culture, Daily Features

While you’ll need to discuss the age difference, don’t constantly remind her that she is so much older than you by saying things like “I want to be rougher in bed…but you’re just so old, and I fear you might snap.”  OK, maybe that is pretty obvious, but here are a few other items that are worth taking into consideration.

Kid or No Kid?

If she has a kid, you will need to learn to deal with that.  It’s not easy! If you want to know what it feels like to have to take care of someone elses kid, get an anchor and tie it to your leg so that you have about 10 yards of moving room.  Then place Iron Maiden backwards and add a few screaming cats.  Get it yet – it’s awful.  Or you can do what every movie villain does and send them off to boarding school.

If she doesn’t have a kid, there is a good chance that she will want one, because the window of opportunity is closing. This is something that you ought to consider before sex becomes a tool for procreation rather than what it is really intended for (cheap, drunk, and sloppy fun).

She Knows Your Tricks

While a younger girl might have had a couple of serious relationships, an older woman has been around the block and back and knows what “poker night” and “guys’ night out” really mean.

You can’t pull the same crap on her that you could with a younger girl.  If you’re the lying douchebag type, this may be something to consider.

It Might Be Hard To Find Similar Interests

The most important thing to remember in these relationships is that it is likely that you grew up in different generations. She might have grown up on Johnny Carson while you grew up on Carson Daly.  If this is the case, you might have a difficult time finding similar interests, something to ponder before you order those Lil Wayne tickets.

She Is Independent

Older women have jobs and lives of their own and aren’t as reliant on men. This could go either way for you. If you are someone that enjoys being able to escape the ol’ ball and chain, then this will work just fine for you.
On the other hand, if you just expect to get by through buying her things and taking her out, you may want to consider going back to picking up girls at frat parties.

Think Twice Before Going On Group Dates

Just because you may have found a chemistry with her doesn’t mean that your friends and her friends will as well.
If you take her to hang out with your pothead college friends, she might feel left out and awkward as you spend two hours discussing the best episode of Robot Chicken.

Similarly, you may feel like stabbing yourself with a fork if her friends are talking about how “The Secret” changed their life.

Follow the author, Igor Derysh, on Twitter @IgorDerysh

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