How to Fix U.S Soccer
So the U.S Soccer team lost this weekend to Ghana, which really sucks because rumor has it that 9 out of every 10 American can’t even find Ghana on a map. But how we can go from a second-rate soccer nation to a global star? Just get rid of all the pretty boys with the chiseled abs and let our best athletes play on the team. Oh and make sure that our sexy superfans out do China’s spectacular bodypainting bonanza.