Ah, smell that? The combination of sunblock, hot tar, hamburgers, beer, and sweat just screams “summer time.” Oh, yes. The living’s easy. You’ve got three months of a part-time job, maybe a few BS art classes to fill up some credits; what a perfect time to take a vacation! Your girlfriend has been nagging you to put on a pair of pants and take her out somewhere. Here are a few spots to spend with your long term girlfriend and/or hot summer fling (just don’t bring both of them at the same time).
1. The Beach
The beach is vastly overdone, but still a good time, especially if you and your fair maiden are located somewhere landlocked. Bring a picnic lunch, rent a surfboard, smuggle some booze.. the possibilities are endless. If you’ve got a few friends, get them together and rent a beach house. Volleyball + grill + girls in bikinis = smokin’ time had by all. Plus, this is an excellent excuse to rub sunblock alllll over your girlfriend. Who knew preventing skin cancer could be such a turn on?
Hiking is usually one of those activities you never remember exists until you’re roped into it by a third party, all the while wishing you had a pair of boots. Hit up your local Payless before attempting this endeavor. Backpacks, water, trail mix, maps, and a first aid kit can be pretty handy (unless your trail is paved, in which case you’re a whimp) as well. You and your lady friend can enjoy the serenity of the forest, so long as you don’t wander into any inhabited caves. Uninhabited caves are fair game for hiking-break-sex.
3. Road Trip
If you’re over 21, renting a car and hitting the highway can be a great way to spend a few days. Bring a map.. or don’t, and just find directions back from wherever you end up. Before allowing your girlfriend to play DJ, ensure an appropriate CD collection has been packed. Road trips can turn mighty ugly mighty fast if you find yourself listening to the Spice Girls’ greatest hits.
4. Theme Park
Six Flags, Water Country, and other overcrowded theme parks tend to thin out on cloudy days. Take the chance (if it’s a water park, you’ll be wet anyway) and pretend you’re 12 again. A puff or two beforehand makes this insanely more enjoyable, particularly when you can’t feel your girlfriend squeezing the blood from your hand as you ride the Superman.
Step right up, step right up! Carnivals are a classic way to spend a summer night. As they say, “show her you care–win her a bear!” No girl is complete with a time-honed symbol of your devotion; that’s right, not just any man can knock over a stack of milk bottles. It takes character to keep trying.. and trying.. and trying. You’ll get it, buddy. Conclude the night with a ride on the Ferris Wheel and kiss her at the top. Aww. Ain’t that sweet.