10 Funniest People To Follow On Twitter

By Writer86 May 14, 2010 9:00 am Posted in culture, Gadgets, Lists, Mobile, tech Writer86 g+ page

Twitter has become a fantastic spot for writers and comedians, especially aspiring ones with a lot of time on their hands (ahem) to pound out their funny thoughts, 140 characters at a time. And a great source of entertainment when everything is boring and awkward and you do the classic phone check. Here are ten great Twitter accounts that’ll keep you laughing without enabling B-level reality stars.

1. @RobHuebel — The sick and twisted musings of sketch comedy genius Rob Huebel. You know him from the MTV series Human Giant (umm, right?), but he’s had his fingerprints on pretty much everything you love, from The Daily Show to Conan O’Brien (no, he didn’t literally touch Conan, we don’t think), and was a panelist on VH1′s Best Week Ever. Reading his tweets, you’d think he was a sociopath with the sexual tendencies that used to get people put in jail (and still might).

Classic Tweet: “Spotted: homeless guy reading Cosmo Mag’s 99 Sex Tips. If that doesn’t fucking inspire you, you should just kill yourself now.”

2. @BlueAndyRooney — Ever watch the show “Sixty Minutes”? You know, the one with the ticking timer that comes on after football on Sunday evenings? No? Well, there’s this old newscaster named Andy Rooney, and now that he can barely move, he just sits at his desk in his home office and gives special comments on things. He’s ancient, carmudgeonly, and kind of hilarious. In that spirit, here is a fake Twitter feed inspired by the geezer-caster, stuff he might say drunk and constipated while off the air. Some are directly inspired by the actual show or real life events, but that only adds to the comedy.

Classic Tweet: “I see that Dick Cheney is hospitalized again with chest pains.Take a shit once in a while Dick, it stacks up pretty fast.”

3. @TheSulk — If you’re a dude in comedy, there are very few ladies that can match the insanity in your brain. Sarah Silverman is one of them. Alec Sulkin is dating her. He’s a well known writer for Family Guy and the Cleveland Show, so we can only imagine the sheer number of poop jokes that fly in that bedroom (also, the literal poop that flies). As funny as his shows and girlfriend are, though, perhaps funniest is his Twitter feed. He hates everyone, but that’s okay, because that includes himself.

Classic Tweet: “Whenever I eat smoked salmon it’s like I fingered a high school girl who plays field hockey.”

4. @RandazzoJ— Isn’t it depressing how the fake news newspaper “The Onion” generally reflects the sad state and pitiful ruins of our everyday, 9-5 suburban toil lives better than our actual news media? And how it so often predicts, years ahead of time, the ridiculous things that end up going down in this world? Yeah, it’s horrible, but also hilarious and impressive. That wouldn’t happen, though, without Joe Randazzo, the editor-in-chief of the satirical weekly. This is his personal account, filled with musings about minutiae, society and fatherhood (don’t worry, that last part still isn’t boring).

Classic Tweet: “Holy cow that was some turbulence! Literally got that roller coaster WHOA-WHEE feeling in my penis & testicles. So did the lady next to me.”

5. @Sportsguy33 — The account of ESPN’s beloved fan/columnist Bill Simmons, he takes live blogging to new levels, with his live tweeting of games and other sporting events. And it’s all hilarious. Usually, it’s annoying to hear about someone’s fantasy team, but start following The Sports Guy, and you’ll somehow care about his League of Dorks AL-only keeper team. And there’s the chance that he may even respond or retweet you, if you insult the Yankees/make an astute 1980′s reference.

Classic Tweet: “CC Sabathia wants you to know that the camera adds 15 pounds. So he’s just really really fat, not really really REALLY fat.”

6. @Serfinowicz — If you’re here in the United States, you may not have heard of this British comedian. And that’s a shame. Peter Serafinowicz, creator of the (ahem), Peter Serafinowicz Show across the pond, tweets musings like the British people used to conquer and colonize foreign lands. Which is pretty often. Wordplay and wit, along with pop culture and potty humor, makes these oft tweets a treat. Which is true, because it rhymes.

Classic Tweet: “If I was Bill Gates I’d log in to Amazon and say ‘I’ll take everything.’”

7. @elibraden — He’s the lead singer of the metal band Pistol Opera, but thank god El Braden doesn’t tweet about that lame shit. Instead, he’s a serial twitterer, poking fun at pop culture and somehow making breakfast a fucking hilarious topic (see the classic tweet). He also pointedly retweets people like Justin Bieber and Tyler Perry, which is a service in itself.

Classic Tweet: “BREAKFAST TIP: A cup of pasteurized cow’s milk really brings that dry cereal to life!”

8. @CommonSquirrel — This is exactly what it looks like. It is the imagined twitter feed of a squirrel. Follow it, pull it up on your iPhone, and crack up. Every. Single. Time.

Classic Tweet: “hop hop hop.”

9. @StephenAtHome — Love satirical conservative/dumbass/genius Stephen Colbert on TV? You’ll love him on Twitter, because that’s where all his jokes and one-liners that didn’t make the show end up. Peppered throughout the day, especially late at night as a reminder to watch, Colbert dispenses his “conservative” wisdom to keep you laughing, instead of crying, at the state of America.

Classic Tweet: “That brandy thief may have a time machine, but I bet he doesn’t know enough about Twitter to change my that brandy thief is a dashing rogue!”

10. @JordanZakarin: An emerging humor writer, he’s a deceptively handsome, insightful, witty and promising young man. His tweets penetrate the very core of comedy, and may leave you unable to finish your day’s tasks, with alternating thoughts of enlightenment and uncontrollable fits of laughter shaking your very being.

Classic Tweet: “I hope no one noticed that I stuck myself at the end of this twitter article. I need friends and followers bad!”