After posting our 52 Best Natural Breasts of All-Time, much debate erupted over whose lady lumps were real and who’s were more fake than a campaign promise. To some, the difference between real breasts and fake breasts couldn’t be more obvious. But with advances in plastic surgery, it’s getting harder and harder for anyone to tell the difference. Still, a few details exist that can expose which one’s are all-natural and which were made in a factory. So read on and never be fooled again!
Find out How to Tell if She Has Fake Boobs after the jump!
All you really need to do is touch them to be able to tell if she’s had “some work done.” But let’s be honest, you’re not going to have that opportunity very often and definitely not with most of the chicks you’re checking out. But if you do get to cop a feel, fake breasts will be much more firm than the real thing, almost hard inside. Not such a big deal when they look good, but who wants to play with a couple of balloons filled with crap?
Breasts, thankfully, come in every shape and size. But real breasts are never perfectly round. If she’s standing upright, most real breasts will be round at the bottom, peak at the nipple and flat on top. But if it looks like she’s smuggling a couple of grapefruits under her sweater at all times, those puppies are fake.
Larger breasts will sag over time, so if she’s sporting double-Ds and they’re holding up her chin without a bra, they’re fake. Smaller breasts, which are less affected by gravity, can maintain a nice round shape, but nobody gets implants smaller than a C-cup (a little more than a handful), so if she’s got B’s or less, count on those being real – and awesome!
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Telling whether or not breasts are fake when they’re tragically stuffed in a bra can be especially difficult, since you don’t get to see their true shape. Which brings us to the Hang. When a girl with real ones bends over or leans forward, they go forward too, away from the body.
If they’re big enough, they should start to look kind of like a water balloon held at the knot, getting more bulbous at the bottom, when looking at them from the front or the side. Fake ones, on the other hand, will get ripples or bumps in the skin toward the bottom of the breasts, created by an unnatural pull on the skin. So if it looks like her ta-tas are about to be ripped off by gravity, she’s trying to fool you.
When a woman lies on her back, her boobs should change shape. If they look like they’re standing at attention, they’re fake – no question about it. If they’re real, they’ll flatten-out, at least a bit, and sag to the sides, toward her armpits. This one is hard to see in pictures, since most models hold their boobs together to keep this from happening and make them look bigger – and faker – for the photo.
One of the best ways to tell if her t*ts are fake is to look at the nipples. A number of things can go awry with these little pleasure buttons. (COED’s a SFW site, so you won’t see many of those here – sorry…) First, if her nipples aren’t symmetrically placed on the boobs, there’s a good chance the boobs are fake; unaltered nips grow more or less in the same spot on both breasts not like this: (*)(.) And of course, if the nipples are constantly harder than diamonds, the boobs probably cost as much as one.
Also, implants are often inserted through a lesion around the nipple, so if she’s got a scar here (or in the armpit, around the bottom of the breasts or even the near the belly button), then the mystery is probably solved. However, some women who’ve had lumps removed from their breasts for medical reasons can have a similar scar, so you better give those bad boys a feel, just to be sure.
Real breasts move. They jiggle and sway and swing. And we love every single second of it. Fake boobs, on the other hand, don’t do a damn thing. Unfortunately, you can’t tell how a set of knockers knock just by looking at (most) pictures. So this doesn’t do you any good there.
But if you can see the lady in question in action, watch for what the breasts do during any quick movements. If she’s kept what her momma gave ‘er, then they should heave, change shape and yes, bounce. If they don’t, they’re fake. But in the end, boobs are boobs and, fake or not, we’re always happy to have a pair around.
So that pretty much sums it up. But here’s a couple more tidbits to keep in mind: Real boobs change size all the time, depending on the time of the month, hormones, diet, health, weight, etc…So just because they look small one day and big the next doesn’t mean she got a boob-job – she might just be getting a ‘visit from Aunt Flo.‘
Also, women with implants often cannot breastfeed, so if you think Angleina Jolie has fake ones, you are (thankfully) mistaken. And because of a loss in body fat (which breast partly are) women who are extremely athletic rarely have big ones unless, of course, they’re not real. So memorize these few perameters (and the ones above) and you’ll be able to spot a fake pair from a mile away.