All you lucky young men in college reading this right now may not realize that you have a famous feisty Fraulein in your midst’s , maybe in your class, maybe even in your dorms! Now I was intending to make this list a top ten, but unfortunately the current crop of celebs aren’t exactly the learned scholars, they’re more the drunken sluts, bless them! So what you have here is the top 5, the best of the best, creme de la creme, beauty and brains.
Sure sometimes she may look like a alien on a bad day but tell me you would crawl naked over broken glass to get a piece of her. And yes, you may have to leave the good ol’ USA behind and move to England to get a chance with her but here’s a couple of good reasons why that’s a good idea.
1). University is a lot cheaper in the UK
2). The legal age to drink alcohol is 18
3). It is pretty easy to go out for a night, get steamy drunk, and still have change from a £10 note.
Flaming red hair and pale skin and blue eyes are always a plus for me and since this chick is 5”10 and worth about £11million my approach would be to walk straight up to her, look her dead in the chest, and say ‘marry me’.
4). Taylor Swift
University of Kansas
Ok, so technically she doesn’t go to University, but she has been spotted there, in class, visiting one of her friends, and when your that famous and you don‘t have to do squat but you willingly sit in a lecture theater for a few hours, that’s good enough for me. This sweet southern belle hits all the right notes, which the exception being Jonas brother A, or B, or C’s seconds, and I hate those goddamn Jonas brothers.
So how would I go about scoring with Swift? Hmmm, grow a mullet, get a little bit pumped, stick on a wife beater and learn how to line dance. With me so far? Good! Then set up a line dancing party in your dorm(you guys have those, right?) bust a few symmetrical moves and before know it she’ll be serenading you to sleep.
3). Carrie Prejean
San Diego Christian College
I don’t know much about her, except she’s hot, and that’s all I really need to know. A quick search round the interweb tells me she came runner up in the Miss USA contest 2009 and that she has a sex tape so my conclusions – JACKPOT!!
I know you might have to put with her constantly telling you her views on religion, but with an ass like that she can read the bible to me start to finish in latin and I‘ll still be smiling! Plus she still may have her Catholic School girls uniform…….sorry, was just thinking about that, ahem.
You may not have heard of her…yet, but this woman makes me lost for words, and being a writer that leaves me slightly up the creek without a paddle. Somewhat of a star since some genius posted pics of her at a track meet on the net(a tip of the hat to you sir) Stokke is a fit, dedicated pole vaulter(snarf snarf) and global warningly hot, I would give my right arm to even attend the same college as her, in fact I even put that down on my application form(I’m still waiting to hear back, fingers crossed!)
She is no doubt a future star of the Olympics, magazines and on the wish list of countless TV producers so you’re only chance with her is telling her you’re making it to the Olympics, and winning gold, better renew that gym membership fellas!
Oh Miss Watson how we’ve watched you bloom into a bona fide HOTTIE. Remember back when Lindsay Lohan did that SNL sketch about Harry Potter and we all hope that Emma Watson would turn out like her? Well now it’s vice-versa – Lohan clean you‘re goddamn act up young lady! Emma Watson has an elegant, natural beauty – she looks just as good with no make up on as she does plastered in the stuff, in scruffy casual clothes as she does wearing the latest fashions she’s so hot she put other hotties to shame! In fact my one complaint, and it’s not really a complaint it’s more a concern, is that she’s just a bit to skinny. Miss Watson if you’re reading have a ham sandwich with some cheese or something, go on, live a little!
And the kick in the teeth, you yanks have got your mitts on here, that’s right she’s studying in the U.S. of lucky bastard A! As Robert Palmer once sang, some guys have all the luck. Men of America, do not waste this opportunity!