8 Drinks Worth Paying for at the Bar

Some cocktails require a professional touch to make, it doesn’t hurt if the person making the drink is one of these Busty Bartenders either. Others are just too much of a pain in the ass to make yourself. These are the 8 drinks that are worth paying for when you’re at the bar.

If you are going to order a beer at the bar, make it a Guinness. Why? Because Guinness doesn’t taste like Guinness unless it’s poured from a tap. To be more specific, unless it’s poured from a keg with clean lines and kept at the right temperature, by a bartender that knows what he is doing. Guinness does its best to make its cans and bottles drink like a draught beer by placing little aerating balls inside, but it just isn’t the same as getting a full head in a clean pint glass at the bar.

When it’s not worth it – When it’s Guinness 250th anniversary Stout. For 250 years Guinness has made a quality product. So let’s celebrate by changing the formula to some sugary, disgusting, Coke 2 type of beer.

The Mojito is a classic Cuban cocktail that is delicious to drink, but a bitch to make. It’s just not worth it to make it yourself. But when you have someone who has to make what you tell them, the mojito is well worth it. It’s strong, tasty, and one of the only garnished drinks that doesn’t scream ‘you’re a pussy.’

When it’s not worth it – Don’t order this drink in a crowded bar. It’s fine if the bartender thinks you’re a dick, but if you slow up the drink line every time you order a cocktail, you’re bound to get in a fight by your fourth mojito.

Manhattan in a rocks glass

Bourbon for adults. If you ever get past the stage where you can only drink whisky if it’s over quick and painfully, try a Manhattan. This classic beverage combines the manliness of drinking bourbon straight, with some delicate girly fruits. The Manhattan is going to come in a martini glass, so if you hate cone-shaped glasses, make sure to order it in a rocks glass.

When it’s not worth it – When you’re a bartender. Bartenders hate making Manhattans because they don’t know how to make them. Well, they don’t know how you make them. The Manhattan has a different recipe for every drinker. You might have to bar hop a bit until you find a bartender that makes Manhattans to your liking.

Bloody Mary

The bloody mary is the snowflake of the cocktail world, no two are exactly the same. And like the Manhattan, you might have to explore a bit to find a bloody with the right amount of bite. A bloody mary is a drink that a lot of bars and restaurants take pride in.

When it’s not worth it –
Anytime after 4 pm. If you’re ordering a bloody at a bar at night, expect a two-ingredient cocktail. If the bar carries Zing Zangs, then don’t worry, you can get a good bloody at anytime.

Sangria is a great drink to buy at a bar if you can find a bar that serves it.  It’s a drink that is made in bulk, and is considered to be the mullet of the wine world. it’s got the sophistication of wine, but a fruity, summer scum bag, Jimmy Buffet flair as well.  You can’t make if for yourself at home, because you have to make a whole goddamn pitcher. Sangria, and other punch like drinks, are worth ordering at a bar because they are easy for the bartenders. They are pre-made, relatively cheap, and unlike wine, you’ll get a full glass.

When it’s not worth it – When you’re in public. Unlike the mojito, sangria is going to call you a pussy to your face, and since you probably are one, you aren’t going to do anything about it. Sangria is a great beach/day/outdoor drink. If you’re going to drink it, drink it with a lot of people so you can’t be singled out for drinking this literally fruity drink.

The Sazerac cocktail is one of the oldest cocktails in The United States. It has a unique taste that you might not be ready for. Combining rye whiskey, two types of bitters, and absinthe make this a powerful and spicy cocktail. It might not be your drink every night, but it is definitely worth ordering, at least once, from the bar.

When it’s not worth it – When you aren’t in the south. The Sazerac traveled briefly around the country in the early 1900’s and made a come back in the 70’s, but today, it is primarily found in New Orleans.

Long Island Iced Tea
So much booze for such a fruity drink. It’s hard to look cool while drinking a long island iced tea, but after a few of them you aren’t going to care. This drink is easy to make, but involves a lot of ingredients. If you can’t decide on whether you want rum, vodka, gin, or tequila, order a long island iced tea and have them altogether.

When it’s not worth it – When it’s made from the well. Combining tequila with rum, vodka with gin, and drinking sour mix in general can wreak havoc on your stomach. If you’re going to order this at a bar, chip in a couple extra bucks, and order a liquor at eye level.

Irish Car Bombs
There aren’t many multiple ingredient shots that can put hair on your balls. Despite the fact that this shot ruins a perfectly good half pint of Guinness, its one of my favorites. A shot of Jameson, a little Bailey’s, and wash it down with a nice cold Guinness.

When it’s not worth it – When you’re alone. I’ve got no problem with drinking alone. I’d actually like to start a club for people to drink alone. But the car bomb is meant for group consumption. Who are you going  to high five when you’re done if you’re doing it by yourself?



  1. G says:

    This websites obsession with guinness is a joke. Is it a good beer? Sure, it beats the hell out of every day macros… but it's not close to even being on top of the list. Way too many other breweries, micros that will blow you away, much more than that of a fucking guinness. Learn to drink real beer you tools.

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  4. Mjssoulfan says:

    Guinness is my favorite beer! This was a great read, thanks!

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