When it comes to sports, a lot of words come to mind: energy, heart, gambling, steroids, racism, chea-, wait racism? Despite the entire country being on an ongoing “make everything politically correct” spree for the past decade, there are still several sport teams with incredibly offensive mascots and names. We’re talking about using words so offensive that they would even get a Mississippi fifth grader sent to detention. Several of the offended groups have started petitions to get the names changed and it seems like there’s change might actually be coming. In the meantime, we’re left cheering for our teams while yelling out racial slurs.
1. Washington Redskins
You might as well call them the Washington N-words. Redskins is one of those words that has now been deemed extremely offensive. In fact, a group of Native Americans filed a case to have the team name changed that went all the way to the Supreme Court. While they were unsuccessful with the NFL, they managed to get 11 high schools and two colleges to drop the redskins moniker. As for the NFL team, I think they have much bigger problems than their name.
Proposed new name: The Washington Obamas. Not only is the team situated in D.C., but they also tend to make as many mistakes as the President.
2. University of Mississippi Runnin’ Rebels
Mississippi isn’t exactly known for being politically correct or socially progressive. So it completely makes sense that Ole Miss’s mascot is a studly plantation owner. And even worse than their mascot, is the fact that it was created in 1970 — over 100 years after the Civil War ended. However, the students of Ole Miss have made impressive strides in changing the name and it appears to be imminent that Colonel Reb is on his way out. The mascot’s likeness has already been banished from sporting events and the students are voting on a new mascot. There have been names thrown around, but there is one mascot name that has stood far and above every other in consideration.
Proposed New Name: University of Mississippi Ackbars. Dead Serious. The strange-looking alien from Star Wars, Admiral Ackbar, is the front-runner to become the University of Mississippi’s mascot. Be careful though, it might be a trap!
3. Cleveland Indians
The Cleveland Indian’s cheery, smiling red-face Chief Wahoo (yeah CHIEF FREAKING WAHOO) has caused a bit of controversy among Native Americans. They’re among one of the many teams being asked by Native Americans to change their names to something a little bit more politically correct. At the very least, they could tone down the red face. However, it’s not happening. Asking a professional sports team to change their logo would be like asking Matthew McConaughey to stop making crappy movies.
Proposed new name: Cleveland Carey’s. Who wouldn’t want the host of The Price is Right to be their new nickname?
Native Americans get all the attention when it comes to changing team names. However no one ever stands up to defend the Irish. Deeming the Irish population as a band of fighting, bearded, bald drunks isn’t exactly what Irish descendants were hoping for when they were immortalized upon one of the more prestigious universities of America.That’s not even to mention the fact that if anyone’s feet actually stood like that, there would be very serious problems.
Proposed new name: Notre Dame Irish. It worked for the Illini, I guess.
5. Watersmeet Nimrods
Watersmeet High School, located in Watersmeet, Michigan gained fame on ESPN when the channel ran commercials displaying the city’s love for their Nimrods. Sure this name isn’t racist and sure there are a lot worse names to be called than a nimrod, but who want this to be their school mascot?
Proposed new name: Watersmeet Douchebags. Why not take it a step further?