Get Me Wet with Sex in the Shower.

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You know what seems ridiculous to me? That it’s after a session of hot, steamy sex that we decide to abandon one another to hit the shower. I mean, do you actually realize what happens in the shower? Let me give you a visual.

Me, standing naked in an enclosed space, lathering my body with soap from head to toe, using my hands to rub myself all over as the hot water steams up the room around me. I spend up to twenty minutes doing this every single day, while you wait in the other room only for me to emerge covered up in a towel?

All the while, we spend fortunes on the usual mundane sex toys: vibrators and massagers and handcuffs in an attempt to spice up our long-past exciting bed sex.

Something doesn’t add up here right??

Everything that’s so great about sex becomes a million times better with the addition of one ingredient: water. Just picture this scene: You’ve just woken up, and hop into the shower for a quick rinse before your first class. You’ve barely had time to reach for the soap bar before you feel something behind you – you turn around and suddenly my wet, naked body is pressed up against your skin, my hands and my mouth getting ready to explore. Think of the positions – doggie-style, backwards doggie-style, scissors; so many creative and hot new ideas to try out. Think of how I’d look having sex, water dripping from my body and my hair sexy and wet. Is there anything hotter in the world?

Yes, actually.

Shower sex is sensational as it is, but it’s now been revolutionized to make it an out-of-body heavenly experience. Sex in the Shower, a new company has created a whole new era of shower sex, abandoning the old soap bar and shampoo, and giving us much much better shower accessories to play with. Think of how sexy it would to have me be the one to lather your body with soap and clean you up – think of how much sexier it would be if it were  vibrating soap that I massaged all over your body.

And you think handcuffs are just for the bedroom?  These suction hand cuffs allow me to keep you trapped in the shower for as long as I want, while I do every single thing imaginable to make you come. Disappointed you missed that class huh?

Just in case we get a little stuck for ideas, we can keep these waterproof position cards hanging on the shower wall – just to remind us of the vast possibilities in our shower sex future.

Yes, shower sex has been revolutionized; but don’t forget that water can be used in many other ways to enhance a great orgasm. If you have yet to lose your ocean virginity, I urge you to stop reading, grab your girlfriend and head for the nearest beach. Sea sex is one of the most erotic experiences in life: think of that amazing scene in The Beach and add a million times to it, because it will be you and not Leonardo Di Caprio climaxing beneath the waves. Swim out as far as you can and let the magic begin – if there are other people in the sea, ignore them and try to pretend that you’re not doing what you’re doing. For the most romantic atmosphere, go at midnight and go separately. Ask her to meet you in the ocean, and make sure her bikini is nowhere to been seen. The anticipation, the moonlight, and the beauty of the ocean will make this an unworldly experience that neither of you will never ever forget.

Mm…writing this article has seriously put me in the mood for some water – I’m off to the shower to get myself really really wet – anyone wanna join me? ;)

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