Upwards of 60% of Americans believe in the story of Noah’s Ark, word by word. Meaning that more than half of this country believes that a guy built an ark, put all of the world’s animals in there (including all of the fish and sea creatures), told them not to kill each other, fed them who-knows-what during the flood, and then put each animal (and dinosaur?) in the specific climate in which they would prosper (and didn’t put any apes on the north pole just to screw with people).
More than half of Americans believe that the “prophecies of The Book of Revelations,” including the idea that we will have a “rapture” and Jesus will return to take the faithful. Meanwhile, atheists pray (pun intended) that the “Faithful” are right, and that they will disappear and get out of the way of humanity’s progress.
Creation/Humans and Dinosaurs
Around half of the people in the United States believe that God created earth somewhere between 6,000 and 10,000 years ago. They believe this despite the fact that they receive an education (except in Kansas) that continually explains to them evolution, and the age of the earth. Why even go to school if you don’t believe the multiplication table.
The juiciest part of this belief is the explanation for dinosaur bones -“God” put the dinosaur fossils in Earth to test our faith.” Yup, and he put “young boys” to test his Priests celibacy (Especially on Gelgamak.)
New Testament, Old Testament
To put all of this in perspective, around half of Americans do not know that Judaism came before Christianity. So, despite the fact that Jesus was a Jew, nearly half of Americans believe that Christianity is older than Judeism. As Bill Maher put it, “half of Americans look at the Old Testament and the New Testament and do not know which came first.”
One-third of all Democrats in the United States believe that George Bush helped plan or at least knew all about the attack on the World Trade Center before September 11.
This would mean that numerous other people and the people that planned the attack also know this and are not saying anything. So countless people from within the Administration revealed the faulty Iraq intelligence and torture but not one person has disclosed the fact that the President committed the single worst crime that the United States has ever seen.
Similarly, one-third of Republicans believe that despite the fact that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is on file in Hawaii, that he was actually born in Kenya. Really? So the The “Powers That Be” had an evil plan to set up an election, and then decided to get a guy from Kenya to become President as opposed to say simply going with someone from the United States? Odd.
Obama is a Muslim
Ten percent of Americans, and more than 20% of Americans in Texas, as well as all the Rascist in both Texas and Florida, believe that Barack Obama is a Muslim.
This belief would almost be okay if those same people did not get on Obama about his radical Christian preacher whose church he attended for ten years. So what is it – Christina w/ a racist preacher or Muslim with a racist complainer?
It is not officially known how many Americans believe in The Illuminati as the official “New World Order”, pollsters cannot read their minds through their tin foil hats.
What we do know, is that there are millions of people who believe that a cartel of very rich and powerful people control the entire world, using world leaders as puppets. Some even believe that the Illuminati are an alien Lizard race – and that George Bush is one of them! . . .and you thought the visitors were our friends.
Despite the existence of these silly little things called facts, more than 30% of Americans still believe that Saddam Hussein was directly behind the September 11 attacks. In other news, more than 30% of Americans haven’t picked up a newspaper in the last five years. . .and if they did, who knows if they could read anyway?
Fake Moon Landing
Around 10% of people believe that the moon landing was staged, and another 20% have doubts that we actually went to the moon.
Have you seen the special effects in pre-Star Wars films? Do you really think a non-George Lucas run government could have pulled something like that off?
Follow the author, Igor Derysh, on Twitter @igorderysh