Banned Dorm Room Cooking Secrets

By    January 18, 2010 4:00 pm     Posted in College, Dorm Life, Lifestyle, Recents   jtaddeo g+ page

Never trust an adult with a partial college education with a cooking device!

It’s late and you’re in no mood to head out to the diner, but you’re starving!

This no cooking in the dorms is for the birds.  This more than most other rule in college really pissed me off.  It’s costing me nearly six figures for you to teach me how to run a major corporation, but in the meanwhile you don’t trust me to run a toaster oven?  I mean WTF?!?  It’s like the faculty is “Making Men” out of the male student body through treating them like children.

My move?  Passive resistance. I baked, toasted, and grilled my heart out.  In fact, I may have done it too well because as both the aroma and the legend of my Dorm Room cooking spread, the contraband searches increased making the college culinary experience increasing tougher each day.

But for a while . . .I was the next Dorm Room Cooking Star thanks to three surprisingly simple portable appliances anyone of which can turn your dorm room into The French Laundry, and you into an Iron Chef.

The George Foreman Grill

No single item is more versatile in the dorm room, but be warned this baby is super banned quite often, and in many colleges you’re better off getting caught with a bag of weed (crazy).  The new foreman with the hotplates that switch from grill to griddle is the ultimate kitchen transformer (Foreman Transform and Roll Out).  Simple panini sandwiches alone will make you a hero after a night of drinking (I recommend salami and provolone, especially if ciabatta is available), but even simple grilled cheese will attract chicks to your room like flies to the spider’s parlor.  Bacon Grilled Cheese?  No Problem.  Cook up some bacon first for the gentiles and rebellious Jewish girls for the ultimate late night panty dropper. Grilled Cheese Pajama Party!

And should you run into a tough nut to crack, take a page out of College Foreman Grillmaster Dan Meyers.   (University of Missouri) He won $2 large and a trip to California for his three-course meal of crab cakes, quail, prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, potatoes, and phyllo-wrapped chocolate cheesecake, all cooked entirely on the Foreman.  May I see the wine list Daniel?

The  Crock Pot

The crock pot is for planner-a-headers what the Arc of the Covenant is for an Army – It makes the owner invincible.  For the cost of the cheapest cuts of steak, a few cheap veggies and some patience you’ll be reward for the tender-est piece since the last batch of freshmen girls.      the   Perfect for feeding friends on your hall, a crock-pot will definitely come in handy in college. Prepare your dinner before class in the morning and leave it all day!

You’re looking at two major disadvantages though, firstly I’m a known problem.  If someone slips on a banana peel in my school they come and blame me, so the concept of hanging my neck out there for a quarter day for 15 minutes of home cooking is simply an odds bet that personally I’m not willing to lay (ha, finally something – who knew).  My awful standards in sex partners aside, secondly spontaneity reigns supreme in my life.  I don’t know what I’m doing in ten minutes let alone 6 hours, so it’s not for me . . .but if you’re the patient “Stealth Bomber” type, the crock pot is your friend.

The Iron

Although less illegal than the Crock pot or Forman Grill, some schools actually do not trust their 20+ year olds with as simple an item as an iron.  If this country ever needs an Army draft again there are going to be some very rude awakenings.  What have we become as a society?  I bet in Germany their ironing their clothes, crock potting bratwurst and foreman grilling wiener schnitzel right now

Regardless, to use your possibly illegal iron as a skillet or flat grill, wrap thinly sliced beef, chicken, fish or veggies in foil.  Place the foil-wrapped food on the ironing board, and put the iron, on the highest setting, over the top. Make sure the foil is sealed up well because it will help the cooking process, and if the juices escape they might come out and ruin the iron or the surface you’re cooking on. The more cooking time that the food requires, the more chance of “issues”, so try to stick to thinly sliced foods, and  foods that only need searing, such as scallops or sushi grade tuna.

How about a grilled cheese, quesadilla or panini?  Heat up any sandwich using the iron for a gourmet delight.   I recommend salami and provolone, tomato, basil and mozzarella, or cheddar, tomato and bacon.  Of course, you’ll need to precook the bacon . . .

To cook bacon with the iron, place the bacon strips between two foil sheets. Fold the edges of the foil sheets together (up) to prevent grease from spilling out. Iron the bacon, opening the packet carefully with a fork every two minutes to check to see if the bacon is done, and to let out the steam. Cook 8 minutes for done and 10 minutes for crispy.

Now should you prefer eggs with that bacon, use the iron as a hotplate for eggs. Prop the iron so that the ironing surface is horizontal. Using foil, make a pan and grease it with cooking spray. Give the iron some time to heat. Crack an egg into it until the egg seems to hold together.  Flip to cook on the opposite side. Repeat.

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    Tags: bacon, breakfast, college cooking, cooking, crock pot, dorm food, Dorm room cooking, eggs, foreman grill, iron, iron grilled cheese

    Comments

    6 Responses to “Banned Dorm Room Cooking Secrets”
    1. Handsome Matt says:
      January 18, 2010 at 12:53 pm

      Don't forget the coffee maker! Noodles and soups are a cinch to heat/reheat with a coffee maker, just put it in the carafe, turn it on, and wait!

    2. The Dark Krystal says:
      January 19, 2010 at 11:03 am

      What got me through was a hot pot. perfect for heating up Easy Mac and chili for Frito boats. I also had a sandwich griller. Oh, and I was an RA, so that helped.

    3. bakedpotatoes says:
      January 19, 2010 at 12:01 pm

      I've never encountered a dormitory without a kitchen.

    4. Carl Otherzuber says:
      January 20, 2010 at 10:43 am

      Nope…everyone missed the old-fashioned popcorn popper. If you can find an older model (an aluminum one that's deep and narrow, with a detachable cord and metal lid), you'll soon discover that you can cook just about anything with it. The newer, shallower ones with Teflon coating are also OK, but not as flexible. Obviously, you can make popcorn, heat soup and other liquids, heat canned foods, and even boil eggs with it. The bottom is just the right size for frying an egg, bacon, or even Spam (if you're so inclined). If you're lucky enough to be able to find an old-fashioned light dimmer (the big ones), you can also control the heat pretty well…from simmer to boil. The metal lid does a nice job of capturing splatters and keeping everything on the QT. This beats the heck out of a GF grill, which can't fry as well and sure can't handle the boiling and simmering. (Try heating up Spaghetti-Os in a GF grill.) Plus, poppers are usually treated pretty lightly by the authorities if you get busted.

    5. andrew says:
      August 21, 2010 at 7:12 pm

      I completely agree with the slow cooker and the grill. I am about to move in as a freshman and am wondering what you did with dishes and utensils. did you bring them to the bathroom to clean or did you use disposable? just wondering what worked for you.

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