5 Things We’d Like to Know About Glenn Beck
Ever since making the move from CNN Headline News to Fox News, Glenn Beck has been one of the most talked about media personality in the country. Despite the fact that he has quickly one-upped the crazy that is Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity, many people still do not know the truth about Beck. Here are some things we think we deserve to know about Beck:
1) Was Glenn Beck a Black Panther?
Some say that while Beck might be a highly rated conservative talk host now, his past included a stint as a member of the Black Panthers.
Beck constantly refers to race and racism on his show, is he channeling his past radical self? Is he trying to overcompensate for his past by turning the tables on his Black Panther brethren?
America deserves to know…
2) Does Glenn Beck Have More Than One Wife?
Most people know that Glenn Beck is Mormon and therefore wears magic underwear and believes in a lot of nonsense like the fact that Jesus walked across America but anonymous sources say that Beck has more than one wife. Typical.
According to these anonymous sources, Beck might have as many as six different wives. Does that sound like someone who represents American values?
And I know what you’re thinking. There’s no record of Beck having more than one wife. But how can we know for sure? How can we be sure that all records of his other marriages haven’t been covered up by the socialist cabal that has their hand in everything so that Beck can spread their radical ideology under the guise of being a decent Christian man?
The ball is in your court Mr. Beck…
3) Was Glenn Beck Trained at a Terror Camp?
Beck sure does talk about potential terror plots and is obsessed with giving coverage to the Islamic terrorist cause. Is Beck a spokesman for the Islamo-fascists? Is Beck himself an Islamo-fascist on top of being a radical Mormon leftist?
How come Glenn Beck has never denied the fact that he himself was trained at a terrorist camp in Swat Valley?
Did Rupert Murdoch and Roger Ailes know about Beck’s alleged past? Are they all in on it?
I’m still waiting for a denial, Mr. Beck.
4) Is Glenn Beck Really a Socialist?
No one spends more time talking about Socialist theories than Beck. Even the Red Commie professors that Beck always alludes to don’t constantly talk about Marxist theory. Is Beck a closet Socialist? Is he a Communist?
Why does Beck give so much of his paycheck to the government for the money to be redistributed among the poor and be put into huge government bureaucracies?
Why do you spend so much time driving socialist ideals into your viewers’ heads? Those anonymous sources must have been right about your ties to the radical leftist cabal that controls the world.
5) Is Glenn Beck the Anti-Christ?
When scripture described the Anti-Christ, wasn’t it really implying that the Anti-Christ would be a middle aged Fox News host who cries a lot in public and asks ridiculous questions knowing that no one in their right mind would respond to them? I think it did but you may have your own opinion on the matter.
In any case, has Beck even spent a second denying this? Nope. Why so quiet? Americans want to know!
I am just a guy asking questions, Mr. Beck. You are the one not responding to inquiries from true Americans who want to know what you are REALLY up to.
Follow the author, Igor Derysh, @IgorDerysh
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Horrible article. At least be funny.
You liberal hippy douches need to give it a rest.
The Answer to all your questions is….
YES!!!
ah not so much….
Funny how Glenn Beck was never talked about while he was on CNN, but now that he's on Fox, he is the Anti-Christ.
Oy. If you conservatives weren't so humourless, you would understand what the guy is going for here. It is a parody of what Glenn Beck does, making insinuations in the form of questions. Although, points off for pretty much copying South Park.
Glenn Beck will fade away, he'll soon be only a faint memory .
Legit story bro… I also heard Glenn Beck is in fact Adolf Hitler, Osama Bid Laden, George Bush, and the devil (nice forked tongue picture btw, where'd you get it??). He hasn't denied it so it must be true…
it is too bad our country has been dumb down to the point that it would be better to engage your brain before your mouth. beck is wrong because he doesn't drink from your glass of stupidly. pull up your big boy underwear and deal with the fact that beck is smarter than you, deal with it. ky.jim
Proof that Americans have no idea of what socialism even is: asking the question 'was he a socialist?' and then showing him with a swastika on his forehead. Seriously, how can you be so scared of socialism when you can't differeniate between socialism, communism, and fascism?
ITT: Conservatives BAAAAWing over the man they worship like a cult leader getting the treatment he gives others.
Still, South Park did do it better.
@Pootah the Nazis were socialist Nazi is an abbreviation of the national socialist party a duh. also your name is a racial slur.
Ha ha… I think that your next article should make fun of Obama for being black, or maybe Anise Parker for being lesbian! That would be even more hilarious!
But seriously, making fun of Beck for his ideas is fine (even if I don't agree with you), but lets keep bigotry out, shall we? There's still no place for that particular type of hatred.
Don't take everything so seriously. We are just having fun with Glenn Beck. No real hatred here at COED.
Bravo. God, someone mail Beck a pair of testicles before he sees this article and cries himself to sleep. What a nutjob.
Wow, so if you're liberal or socialist it's okay. But if you're not then you horrible, that 's what I am getting from this.
can i have the last two minutes of my life back? dumbest article i have ever read. not even funny and I'm not a glen beck fan. making fun of his religious beliefs (whatever they may be) is a low blow.
Hmmmm! Same thing could apply in O'Bama and his Birth Certificate/Health Eye Don't CARE
Close the shutters, there is a cold bitter Chicago wind blowin out of Wash DC. Board-Up for a long cold winter in the USA. Good luck to all and we will meet again in the spring. God speed!
This article is almost sad becuase it is not even a little bit funny. I mean Beck as a Black Panther that is some of the best shit you can come up with? COED needs a new section for crap like this it can be called I am a virgin loser with a tiny dick trying to write something funny.
Did Glenn Beck rape and murder a young girl in 1990? I'm not saying he did, I'm just asking questions, but isn't it funny that he hasn't come right out and denied the accusations? If he didn't do it, why doesn't he just say he didn't?
Whats wrong with being a socialist? Being a corporatist lost us the EV-1, being a capitalist has a lot to do with the Wall Street melt-down and golden parachutes instead of bullets to the forehead for treason, for banksters? Georgie Porgy should have been punished for the Iraq lie, What great damage did the socialists ever do in America? Support Medical care against the American Medical Cartel – a bunch of Zionist Pigs with a fifth column Monopoly enforced by secret societies? GM(America ) is dead, so is the America we know – destroyed by smarter maneuvers by Asian economists! Eat Shit Yankee Doodle! it is all you have left on your plate! The corporatists sold you out to the commies in China and now you suffer, they thrive on the Hang Seng, Beijing and Shanghai stock markets with capital stolen from America! GM(China) reports a 30% profit this year! GM(America) Bankrupt! on welfare! Google Torrent, the movie, "Who Stole Teh Electric Car" for and expose on what is wrong in America today, then realize, China has a volt "knock-off" Up and running, fully tested in two full years of taxi service in Shanghai! while the American volt, the original, is still on the drawing boards sucking up government money!The Chinese version slated for import to U.S. by 2013, possibly before the GM(America) product goes on sale! Reason: bigger ROI, wider profit margins, on the cheaper to produce Chinese car! The corporatist sting the American public once again! Sly bastards they are! If Beck were a commie he would do less harm to America than the corporatists!