5 Kick-Ass Toys For Big Boys
Just because you’re a lot bigger (and probably fatter) than you were as a kid, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still be able to play with toys. And with the way technology’s going these days, you’re not going to believe the stuff kids these day have. From real night vision goggles to giant RC dinosaurs, these are five of the hot items this holiday season that you will probably just want to keep for yourself.
1. EyeClops Night Vision Goggles
Think night vision is just for spies, special ops and dress wearing serial killers? Think again. Now, with the EyeClops night vision goggles ($80), even your punkass nephew can turn into a Navy SEAL. Just pop in four AA batteries, flip the ‘on’ switch and the EyeClops night vision goggles allow you to see clearly in pitch black up to 50-feet in front of you using the same infrared technology used in professional-grade night vision goggles. We’re not saying these goggles won’t make you look like a cyborg creeper, but that doesn’t mean they don’t kick all ass.
2. Hasbro Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster
Any toy that resembles heavy artillery is good in our book. And this battery powered dart cannon is so badass, it could probably scare Osama bin Laden enough to surrender, if you got him in range. Armed with an aiming tripod and a 25 dart ammuition belt, the Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster ($45) can switch between single shot and fully-automatic mode, allowing you shoot your enemies (i.e. your girlfriend’s cat) with up to three darts per-second. Beat that, Mr. Snuggles!
3. Air Hogs Havoc Battle Laser Helicopters
Remote control helicopters have come a long way in the past few years, turning an expensive niche hobby into some of the most fun you can have indoors. Made of not much more than Styrofoam and plastic, the Air Hogs Havoc Laser helicopters battle pack ($63), which comes with two helicopters and remote controls, are not only 100-times more durable than the more expensive RC copters at your local hobby shop, they come armed with freakin’ lasers, giving you the ability to take down your friends in an all-out aerial war. Not only that, but you don’t have to become a complete RC dweeb just to get the dang things off the ground.
4. The Hammacher Snowball Launcher
Winter’s just around the corner (or already here), and that means it’s time to amp-up your snowball fighting skills. But this year, you’re going to need more than just warmer gloves. Enter the Hammacher Snowball Launcher ($30), the coolest backyard weapon this side of a potato gun.
Just pack snow into the loading chamber, close the top and presto – three perfectly formed snowballs ready to fire. Next, place a snowball into the barrel, pull back the elastic launcher and let the puppy fly (up to 80-feet). The neighbor kids are going to have another thing coming this snow season.
5. Spike the Ultra Dinosaur
While this one might look a little too childish and goofy to be fun past age four, this bitchin’ remote control dinosaur is like having a pet that will never take a dump on your floor or eat your couch. Measuring 27-inches tall, Spike the Ultra Dinosaur ($140) can stand on his hind legs and make a ton of aweseom noises like snorts and roars. And the remote control is picture coded to tell you exactly what Spike does, so you can have tons of fun with this mischevious monster even when you’re wasted! (Note: This product is best used while really, really high.)