The 12 Dumbest Convicted Athletes


With Plaxico Burress having just been sentenced to two years in jail for possessing and discharging a firearm in a public space, we are reminded that these masters of the field and the court are just people, too. They make mistakes, and have to pay for them. However, sometimes the mistakes they make are so hilariously idiotic, we can’t help but make fun of them. Here are the 12 Dumbest Convicted Athletes.

nate-newton12. Nate Newton

If at first you don’t succeed try try again.

That is the mantra former All-Pro offensive lineman Nate Newton lives by when it comes to using cargo vans to transport hundreds of pounds of pot.

In 2001 Newton was busted with 213 pounds of the sticky icky in Louisiana, then weeks later while  free on bail Newton was busted again in a van with 175 pounds of weed.


mike-vick11. Michael Vick

In 2005 All-Pro quarterback Michael Vick was the highest paid player in the NFL and number 33 on Forbes’ Top 100 Celebrities list.

Less than two years later his massive contract was gone and so was his life as a free man.

Vick was convicted of operating a massive dog fighting ring and was sentenced to 23 months behind bars. Now out of jail Vick is looking to revive his football career and dig him self out of bankruptcy.


maurice-clarett10. Maurice Clarett

Maurice Clarett was, at one point, headed for greatness, but soon headed to a maximum security prison.

His first offense came on New Year’s Day of 2006 when Clarett robbed a couple at gun point, only to come away with a cell phone.

His problems didn’t end there, as just seven months later, Clarett was found to have an automatic rifle, two handguns, and an open bottle of vodka in his car. This all happened after police went to pull Clarett over for an illegal U-turn.


tank-johnson9. Tank Johnson

At the height of his career, Johnson was one of the most feared defensive players in the league. That was until he was arrested for possessing weapons while on probation.

The weapons included at least two assault rifles, loaded hanguns, and a bunch of pot.


probert8. Bob Probert

The feared Red Wing and Blackhawk took his tough guy image with him when he retired.

Two years after retirement, Probert was arrested for parking on the wrong side of the street and getting into a fight about drugs with complete strangers. Probert became belligerent and had to be subdued with a taser and stun darts.


jamal-lewis7. Jamal Lewis

Despite the fact that Lewis had become one of the best running backs in the league, he felt it necessary to make a little extra scratch by trying to sell five Kilos of pot.


mike-danton6. Mike Danton

Though not well known, this left-winger for the St. Louis Blues was arrested for conspiracy to commit murder after hiring a hitman to take out his agent.

After his agent questioned Danton’s promiscuous and alcohol fueled lifestyle the hockey star offered $10,000 for his murder.


urbina5. Ugueth Urbina

The former All-Star closer was arrested for attempted murder in his home country of Venezuela.

“The Squid’s” troubles began when he went after five of his farmworkers with a machete and a tank of gasoline.


plaxico-burress4. Plaxico Burress

The former All-Pro and Superbowl Champion had been keeping a gun that was only registered in Florida in the waistband of his sweatpants in a NYC night club.

Go figure, the gun slipped, went off, and shot dummy in the leg. To add insult to injury, Plaxico was arrested for having an illegal gun.


pacman-jones3. Adam “Pacman” Jones

This idiot looked to be an up-and-coming cornerback but soon came to know the courthouse as his home away from home.

Jones has been arrested for assault, disorderly conduct, public intoxication, felony obstruction of justice, driving recklessly, and being involved in a Las Vegas shooting.

“Pacman” should make a mental note and avoid strip clubs at all cost as most of his problems stem from field trips to adult playgrounds.


chris-henry12. Chris Henry

The court may be Pac Man’s second home, but Chris Henry might have already moved in. Between December 2005 and March 2008, Henry was arrested seven different times.

If you looked at Chris Henry’s wrap sheet you would discover that the NFL star has a passion for fighting in the streets, pot, driving drunk and teenage girls.


oj-simpson1. O.J. Simpson

Few people get a get out of jail free card, especially when they kill two people.

O.J. Simpson got just that but decided to throw it all away when he broke into a Las Vegas hotel room to steal his own memorabilia.

“Juice” is currently serving at least nine years for a host of felony charges stemming from the attempted armed robbery and skipping bail.






  1. ATG says:

    Any list like this MUST include Rae Carruth, Lawrence Phillips, Sammie Smith and Travis Henry…its just gotta!

  2. harith says:

    Michael Vick is the pithiest name that comes to my mind every time I think of poor destiny sports persons.

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  5. living with balls says:

    If you like this article you should check out this one on the All-NFL criminal team

  6. bobbygee says:

    This is very good and funny. I love it.

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  8. The Devil says:

    Michael Vick's gotta be no.1 on this list.

    He fell the farthest, and had the least logical reasoning on here. Dogfighting? You'd really risk EVERYTHING, the biggest contract in your sport, millions in endorsements, and a clear path to the Hall of Fame. . . . to drown puppies? Really? He's gotta get his head examined.

    I'm still gonna watch him, but that was stupid.

    P.S. OJ aint do that shit. Kato did.

    If you stab 2 people hundreds of times, you're gonna have a little bit more than a few specks of blood in your car. You're gonna be drenched in it and OJ was not. All they had was the LAPD's tainted evidence handled by a man, who was caught on tape talking about how much he hates Black people. Puhleeze.

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  11. Gary R. Damon says:

    the spooke talk crap albout his homie O.j. and i mean little j is square,and he flug up about little O.j. cause he do in the white folks, kato, dont have it in his q——- bones to stab white folk

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  13. Bret Van says:

    As much as an avid fan of the Huskers that I am, lets not forget Lawrence Phillips, I just read he just pulled yet another bad sttunt in LA, and will finally spend some time in prison. all that talent, and he pissed it all away by being one stupid SOB. Ive never seen anyone get so many chances to make it right. hes just an IDIOT

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