16 Essential ‘As Seen On TV’ Products for Pot Smokers

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When you’re in the middle of a good smoke session at 3AM, the last thing you want to do is be traipsing out of the house to go shopping. Which is why the best place to buy the things you need is off the television, like God intended. But with so many products to choose from (seriously, there’s like a million) we’ve narrow it down to the 16 Essential ‘As Seen On TV’ Products for Pot Smokers to help you stock up on your weed-centric peripherals.

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Shamwow!

Few substances in your house are quite as disgusting as bong water. So when that sh*t spills, you’ll need something to clean up, quick. And as you probably already know, nothing soaks up better than the famous Shamwow!.

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Key Finder Key Chain

Every pot smoker I know loses their keys on a fairly regular basis, which is why the Key Finder is such a useful purchase. If you lose your keys, just clap, whistle or shout to activate the Key Finder key chain, which will beep and flash until you find what you’re looking for.

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Slap Chop

This slaptastic device is good for making everything from salads to breakfast. But did you know it’s also great for grinding up your weed? Not only that, but it also allows you to pretend you’re a hooker-beating TV pitchman while you’re doing it.

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Donut Wizard

Nothing cures a case of the munchies better than a pile of freshly baked doughnuts. But instead of having to make a run to Krispy Kreme, just pick up the Donut Wizard, which comes with everything you need for cooking up a batch with ease.

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Tongue Sweeper

Every pot smoker knows what it’s like to have a healthy dose of cotton mouth. But one good way to get rid of the grime is the mildly disgusting Tongue Sweeper. This handy little device will scrape away that chalky muck from your tongue in nothing flat.

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Odor Assassin

Dank weed can create some danker odors, so when you need to freshen things up (or hide your pot habit from your mom), just a couple of squirts of the Odor Assassin should do the trick.

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Hot Dog Toaster

What’s easier than making a hot dog? Making a hot dog in the Hot Dog Toaster, of course! Capable of toasting two buns and cooking two hot dogs at once, this little appliance is sure to become your new favorite thing. (You know, after weed…)

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Faraday Flashlight

Chances are, you’re going to lose your lighter or your bud under the couch (or car seat) at some point or another. But instead of wasting dough on batteries, just pick up the Faraday flashlight, which charges by simply shaking it! Just don’t lose this under the couch, or you’re totally screwed.

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Free Legal Help by Matthew Lesko

In case you forgot, marijuana is still illegal. So if you’re a serious smoker, chances are you’re going to need some legal help at one time or another. And since you already spent all your cash on a fresh bag, free legal help is definitely the way to go. Which is where the wacky Matthew Lesko comes in. I mean, just look at his jacket – you know that guy smokes.

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The Forget Me Not

Pot might not be addictive, but it sure as hell turns the memory part of your brain into a puddle of useless mush. So grab the Forget Me Not voice recorder to avoid forgetting to feed the dog or pick your step-dad up from jail.

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The Clapper

After burning down a few bowls worth, the last thing you feel like doing is getting up off the couch – which is precisely why God invented The Clapper. If you somehow didn’t already know, this ingenious device allows you to turn on or off any electronic device with a simple clap-clap. We recommend hooking it up to your Xbox – or your vaporizer.

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The George Foreman Grill

An oldy, but still a goody, the Foreman grill makes grilling-up your favorite munchies easy as pie. Actually, it’s a hell of a lot easier than pie which, by the way, sounds freakin’ AWESOME right now..

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Blublockers

There’s really not much you can do to hide your glazed-over, blood shot eyes besides throwing on some shades. Which is where the Blublockers come in…

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Mighty Putty

Breaking a nice bowl or bong can be one of the more devastating moments in a smoker’s life. But fear not! With Mighty Putty, you can patch up your precious “Barack O-bong-a” and keep the party going strong all night long.

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Smokeless Ashtray

I honestly have no idea what the hell ‘ionic technology’ is, but regardless, this nifty little contraption will keep the weed aromas down to a minimum by breaking down the smoke with negatively charged particles, which are then “captured by the positively charged stainless steel lining of the dome.” Sure, it sounds like complete bullsh*t, but that doesn’t make me want it any less.

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The Snuggie

If you ask us, this silly thing is pretty much played out – but that doesn’t mean it’s not awesome for a smoke session on a chilly night. Since this “blanket” has sleeves, you can still reach your bong, bowl, lighter, etc, without the hassle of having to, you know, uncover yourself…

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