13 Sexy Valentines for Valentine’s

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Valentine’s Day is coming up fast, and that means you’re going to be neck-deep in flowers, chocolate and tiny candy kisses before you can say “kill me now.” So to help balance out the lame side to this holiday of love, we’ve found the 13 hottest Valentines on the Net. Luckily for you, it turns out that pretty much any girl with “Valentine” in her name spends most of her time taking off her clothes (among other things.) So get ready for the best Valentines you’ve ever received!

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Angelina Valentine

Porn star Angelina Valentine is one of those girls that has so little shame, you’d almost being embarrassed to go out in public with her. (I said almost!) She’s  appeared in the pages of Penthouse and gotten down and dirty for the guys over at Bang Bus and a slew of other Websites we’re not allowed to link to. But we can’t stop you from searching for them on your own time (wink, wink).

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Calista Valentine

We don’t know much about this Mac & Bumble babe, other than she looks like a dirtier version of all our favorite lovely ladies combined into one super sexy chick that our mothers would most certainly not approve of. Let’s put it this way: She’d probably be down with letting you do the Tony Danza slap, that’s all we’re sayin’… Now, that’s the kind of Valentine’s Day we could get into!

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Kay Valentine

According to her Myspace page, Kay Valentine is “just a fun loving British Babe who wants to dance my way to your hearts.” But when for a chick this smokin’, there’s no need to dance to get to our hearts. You don’t even have to move – we’ll come to you.

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Stacy Valentine

Formerly an adult pornstar, Stacy now works for Penthouse, recruiting new girls to get naked for the magazine. So basically, she has the best job on the planet. Stacy, let us know if you need any assistants – we’re practically experts at checking out naked chicks.

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Kandi Valentine

All-natural professional naughty-girl Kandy Valentine has her own Website where she does all the kinds of stuff you’d expect from a girl who names herself Kandy Valentine. What, you thought that was her real name?

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Samantha Valentine

From pin-up to punk rocker, Samantha Valentine is an indie hottie that probably gets crazier in the bedroom than you can even imagine. I mean, if your idea of a job is being photographed in a bed, with another chick, covered in blood, then there’s definitely something strange going on inside that head of yours….

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Bridget Valentine

Unlike a lot of these girls, Bridgette is actually a fashion model with no intention of being photographed while covered in baby oil and playing with anything phallic. On the up side, she’s super, duper F’ing hot! Like, hotter than any of  us have any clue what to do with. So, at least she has that going for her…

(click photo to see full gallery)

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Charlotte Valentine

Twenty-four-year-old fashion, fetish and erotic model Charlotte Valentine lives in California and models for Suicide Girls-like Site called GodsGirls.com And by “God’s girls,” they mean hot tattooed chicks who get naked and have their picture taken for money. Who knew God was such a freaky son-of-a-bitch?

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Claudia Valentine

With just one look at this sultry brunette, you can probably guess that she’s no goodie-goodie. And you’d be right. The star of “I Came in Your Mom” and “Handjobs Across America 25″ isn’t exactly what we’d call “classy.” But who cares? Classy is overrated, anyway.

(click photo to see full gallery)

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Nikita Valentine

This all-natural blond has a body that you would literally kill for. Her nude photos are available all over the Internet, and she’s appeared in a couple of small-time pornos, like “She Licks Girls 2.” And that’s about all we know about her. But if you’re only going to know two things about a person, those would be the two things you’d want to know…

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Brielle Valentine

This 20-year-old Southern California native has her curves in all the right places. She’s a boxer and a singer and is  currently working her way through school to become a paralegal. And that’s about as exciting as this one gets. We’re sure she’s very nice, though…

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Bella Valentine

At first glance, Bella Valentine might seem like a nice, wholesome bikini model. But then we found out that her Website has a “members-only” section with “exclusive nude galleries” and the glorious truth came out – she’s just as naughty as the rest of these chicks, only she makes you pay before you get the goods. Touche, Bella, touche…

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Faye Valentine (Reagan)

OK, OK, this Valentine is not technically a “Valentine” anymore; the fiery redheaded porn star has since changed her name to “Faye Reagan.” But it seems like a good choice – since joining the sex industry in 2007, she’s quickly become one of the most sought after actresses. Looking at her, it’s not hard to see why.

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