After a long batlle Patrick Swayze has passed on. Any regular COED read knows that we are HUGE fans of Patrick Swayze – see: Top 6 Most Bad-Ass Patrick Swayze Roles
Swayze has starred in so many incredible movies but my favorite (by far) is the 1989 classic Road House where Swayze is James Dalton, a bouncer at a seedy roadside bar who protects a small town in Missouri from a corrupt businessman. Dalton has a master’s degree in philosophy and believes in “being until it’s time to not be nice.”
I seriously watch the movie about once a week and consider it one of the best movies ever made.
To celebrate the life of Patrick Swayze and the 20th anniversary of Road House I give you 12 Totally Serious Reasons Steve G Thinks Roadhouse is The Best Movie Ever.
#1) Swayze: ’nuff said
2) Kill Scenes:Swayze rips a guys throat with his bare hands.
3) Lawlessness:People in the town have the ability to commit a crime and no one ever gets in trouble…ever! In the last scene Swayze massacres six people with his bare hands and the cops could careless.
4) Explosions: Brad Wesley (the evil business man) blows up the mechanic shop then has the balls to blow up Red Webster’s house…and is there justice? Nope (see #3). Where does he get all the dynamite from anyway?
5) Switch Blade Fights:People in this town don’t like to fight with their fists, that is the pussy way to throw down. During every fight scene there is some type of knife being used. In total Swayze gets slashed twice but as you’ll see from #6 it’s no big deal.
6) Pain Don’t Hurt: After his first run in with the sharp end of a switch blade Swayze says f**k it to the hospital and stitches himself up with dental floss. After his second slashing he heads to the hospital and gets nine staples to close it back up but denies isolated anesthesia cause “pain don’t hurt.” Did I mention he ends up banging the hottie doctor that nurses his wounds? (See reason #1)
7) Julie Michaels Strip Scene: The pinnacle of Julie Michael’s acting career came when she gave what I consider to be the best movie strip dance in Hollywood history. This 2 minutes of film glory is reason enough to rent this movie on DVD VHS.
8) Boot Blade:A ninja wearing cowboy gear walks into the bar with a boot blade and is denied entrance. They end up fighting and within four seconds Swayze breaks his knee backward saying, “take the biggest guy in the world, shatter his knee and he’ll drop like a stone.”
9) “Big Foot” monster truck: Remember when I told you the town is lawless? In one scene Brad Wesley and his crew go to the local auto dealership to visit the owner who hasn’t been paying up. Instead of a simple shake down or switchblade fight they destroy the joint with the famed 80′s monster truck Big Foot – AWESOME!
10) Six Different Pairs of Boobs: We know about Julie Michaels strip scene (see #7) but Swayze also visits a strip club and nails the hottie nurse. You know what that means, boob-o-rama!
11) Jeff Healey Band:Jeff Healey was a real life blind rock & roller who provided the rippin’ tunes for Road House. He died last year so let’s remember him by watching the a bar fight scene from Road House with music provided by Healey.
12) Dalton’s Three Rules:In this scene Swayze tells us how to be a great bouncer and why we should now take it personal when someone calls us a c*ck sucker.