12 Reasons Patrick Swayze’s “Road House” is The Best Movie Ever

By    January 11, 2009 3:15 pm     Posted in culture   COED Staff g+ page

road_house1After a long batlle Patrick Swayze has passed on. Any regular COED read knows that we are HUGE fans of Patrick Swayze – see: Top 6 Most Bad-Ass Patrick Swayze Roles

Swayze has starred in so many incredible movies but my favorite (by far) is the 1989 classic Road House where Swayze is James Dalton, a bouncer at a seedy roadside bar who protects a small town in Missouri from a corrupt businessman. Dalton has a master’s degree in philosophy and believes in “being until it’s time to not be nice.”

I seriously watch the movie about once a week and consider it one of the best movies ever made.

To celebrate the life of Patrick Swayze and the 20th anniversary of Road House I give you 12 Totally Serious Reasons Steve G Thinks Roadhouse is The Best Movie Ever.

#1) Swayze: ’nuff said

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2) Kill Scenes:Swayze rips a guys throat with his bare hands.

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3) Lawlessness:People in the town have the ability to commit a crime and no one ever gets in trouble…ever! In the last scene Swayze massacres six people with his bare hands and the cops could careless.

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4) Explosions: Brad Wesley (the evil business man) blows up the mechanic shop then has the balls to blow up Red Webster’s house…and is there justice? Nope (see #3). Where does he get all the dynamite from anyway?

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5) Switch Blade Fights:People in this town don’t like to fight with their fists, that is the pussy way to throw down. During every fight scene there is some type of knife being used. In total Swayze gets slashed twice but as you’ll see from #6 it’s no big deal.

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6) Pain Don’t Hurt: After his first run in with the sharp end of a switch blade Swayze says f**k it to the hospital and stitches himself up with dental floss. After his second slashing he heads to the hospital and gets nine staples to close it back up but denies isolated anesthesia cause “pain don’t hurt.” Did I mention he ends up banging the hottie doctor that nurses his wounds? (See reason #1)

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7) Julie Michaels Strip Scene: The pinnacle of Julie Michael’s acting career came when she gave what I consider to be the best movie strip dance in Hollywood history. This 2 minutes of film glory is reason enough to rent this movie on DVD VHS.

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8) Boot Blade:A ninja wearing cowboy gear walks into the bar with a boot blade and is denied entrance. They end up fighting and within four seconds Swayze breaks his knee backward saying, “take the biggest guy in the world, shatter his knee and he’ll drop like a stone.”

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9) “Big Foot” monster truck: Remember when I told you the town is lawless? In one scene Brad Wesley and his crew go to the local auto dealership to visit the owner who hasn’t been paying up. Instead of a simple shake down or switchblade fight they destroy the joint with the famed 80′s monster truck Big Foot – AWESOME!

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10) Six Different Pairs of Boobs: We know about Julie Michaels strip scene (see #7) but Swayze also visits a strip club and nails the hottie nurse. You know what that means, boob-o-rama!

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11) Jeff Healey Band:Jeff Healey was a real life blind rock & roller who provided the rippin’ tunes for Road House. He died last year so let’s remember him by watching the a bar fight scene from Road House with music provided by Healey.

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12) Dalton’s Three Rules:In this scene Swayze tells us how to be a great bouncer and why we should now take it personal when someone calls us a c*ck sucker.

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    Tags: Patrick-Swayze, RIP patrick swayze, road house, road house online

    Comments

    14 Responses to “12 Reasons Patrick Swayze’s “Road House” is The Best Movie Ever”
    1. marshall says:
      January 12, 2009 at 1:58 pm

      This is one of Patrick's best movie he ever played in..Road House was the true Patrick of his lifestyle and gentle person too.. I hope he doesn't die he will be lost in the one of hollywood's greatest actors..

      Support our U.S. Troops~~!!

    2. Larryfrom chicago says:
      January 17, 2009 at 3:38 pm

      It's nice to know someone else watches Road House at least once a week. The top 12 is spot on. I do think that Sam Elliot should get props somewhere in here (The "Double Douche"). I have been quoting this movie for 20 years and I can't stop.

    3. devil says:
      January 25, 2009 at 6:18 am

      Get an editor.

    4. Mike D says:
      January 26, 2009 at 7:18 am

      I would have to agree with Steve G….ROADHOUSE is the best movie ever….I could give you more than 12 reasons, but you pretty much nailed it.

      cheers!

    5. swazed&confused says:
      February 18, 2009 at 4:38 pm

      Uh yeah… except for it's the dumbest, most predictable, most retardedest movie EVER MADE!

      And what is with the terrible, confusing camera work?!

      Closeup shots of characters faces when it doesn't make sense… odd expressions, nice directing!

      The funniest one of these is when The Swazinator is doing tai chi in his backyard and the old geezer who rented him the room looks at him doing tai chi and scratches his head with the most ridiculously irrelevant expression possible. Looked like he has constipated and angry but why?!

      Seriously, anybody who thinks this loner-with-a-troubled-past-but-boy-can-he-fight movie is good needs to be locked in a film school for at least ten years.

    6. tiki187 says:
      September 4, 2009 at 8:39 am

      I am glad that someone shares my view of the obvious fact that Road House is the BEST bad MOVIE OF ALL TIME. I like it for entirely different reasons. Patrick Swayze's character forever broke the paradigm of the action hero. An intelligent and educated man who chooses a life of violence with the hopes of preventing violence. Before him, action heroes were either bent on revenge or were caught in extra ordinary circumstances that necessitated the use of violence. All hail Patrick Swayze in all of his glory.

    7. Emmet says:
      September 15, 2009 at 12:24 pm

      I like the fact that you clearly drink heavily while watching Road House. Just for the record, Dalton is a cooler, not a bouncer, and it's Wade Garrett who's working in a strip club when Dalton calls him on the phone.

    8. Jennifer Churchill says:
      September 17, 2009 at 4:53 am

      I wrote a little essay about this movie, from a more "he's sexy" perspective :)

      http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=13703002…

    9. acnegurlash says:
      November 17, 2009 at 4:52 am

      Patrick Swayze is one of the best actors in Hollywood and we are going to miss him.

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