The Shannon Twins might be bigger fans of Playboy than us, and they might have just scored themselves a bedroom in the mansion. See, not too long ago, it was starting to look like Hugh Hefner’s Playboy days were going down the tubes. First came the reports of Playboy’s speculated bankruptcy – which, after all the bullsh*t that’s been going down in the financial markets these days, seems like an F’ing picnic. Then we find out that all three of his Girls Next Door girlfriends are f**king other dudes – Criss Angle and Joe Francis, of all people. Talk about a kick to the proverbial nuts – replaced by a douchebag magician and a dude who’s like the low-rent, Jersey Shore version of yourself!
But then we came across BuzzFeed today, and realized that his fortunes haven’t all gone to sh*t: Meet the 19-year-old Kristina and Karissa Shannon otherwise known as Shannon Twins and Hugh Hefner’s new slumber party favorites. Both models from Hollywood, CA, these teenagers fill all the criteria that Hef has for a woman – young and blond. Which, if you’re going to only have two criteria, is a pretty good way to go. You know, we were just starting to feel sorry for the old brute. But in light of this new information – f**k that!